TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN: Dare you enter Elvira's House of Mystery ?

We are still in the month of Schocktober and so far we had hot vampires , witches by day and werewolves by night but it wouldn't be a proper All Hallow's Eve celebration without the queen of Halloween, the gothic 42E ( !!! ) - 21 - 37 blow up sex doll of our collective wet nightmares, the horror hostess with the mostess, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. So I thought it was time for another visit from this frenetic fellatio freak and her firm funbags especially since her last appearance on the blog was in April - in my second Gambit spotlight - while her last solo posts are from 2016.

Now anybody who has read my previous Elvira spotlights might have a clue that this new post will be unlike my other BLACK AND WHITE posts since most of the original art is from the ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK book from Claypool Comics starting in 1993 which was printed in black and white so there will be - almost - no original art that was coloured except for one page from ELVIRA'S HOUSE OF MYSTERY by DC Comics.

As one might ascertain from its title ELVIRA'S HOUSE OF MYSTERY was an anthology title much in the vein of DC Comics famous books HOUSE OF MYSTERY and HOUSE OF SECRETS which at this point both had ceased publication so besides making reference to DC Comics best known horror anthology title they also might have called it that for copyright reasons.

In the first issue we see Elvira being chased by an angry mob and seeking refuge in the House of Mystery which at that point in time had been abandoned by its former caretaker Cain ( whom some of my readers might know from his appearance in the tv adaption of Neil Gaiman's groundbreaking comic THE SANDMAN ) who was introduced in issue 175.

HOUSE OF MYSTERY started out as a horror anthology featuring stories of the supernatural and supernatural themed mystery stories but with the rise of the Comics Code Authority it changed its content to more science fiction based horror and other tales that were allowed by this new code.

In the mid - 1960s the book changed it focus once again due to the rise in popularity of superhero comicbooks and with issue 143 Justice League member J'ONN J'ONZZ THE MANHUNTER FROM MARS headlined the book until DIAL H FOR HERO took over that spot from issue 156 to issue 173.

By that time both DC Comics and Marvel Comics had begun to test the limits of the comics code so with issue 174 - which only featured reprints - the title would return to its horror roots with the next issue not only featuring all new material but also introducing Cain as the new host.

Coming back to Elvira while ducking the angry mob that is out in force with the proverbial torches and pitchforks she begins to talk to the house and experiences different stories acting as the new host of the title but naturally adding her own patented brand of sex and humour.

Since Elvira seems to be superimposed over the art I thought they were just recycling old stories but according to the all knowing GRAND COMICS DATABASE the issues featured previously unpublished material so either the stories were all new or they used old inventory stories that every comicbook company had back in the day just in case one issue was late.

In any case, at the end of issue one Elvira decides to stay for a while taking over Cain's duties of whom she makes fun throughout the series.

But that is not what this post is about. When deciding what should be the ( hopefully ) first Elvira post this month I thought about which of the various comicbook series that featured The Mistress of the Dark I should focus and as always in the end the original art won out so it will be the series from Claypool Comics although I was very tempted to make one about the various Elvira series from Dynamite Entertainment. Especially the covers by Joseph Michael Linsner made this a very hard decision.

Speaking of making the hard decisions, since we are already over the obligatory " 23 pictures of art per post " threshold and I wanted to do a few Elvira posts this year anyway we are wrapping things up here and will continue in the second part of this spooky stroll down memory lane.

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Starting out as a showgirl, go - go dancer and stripper with 17 ( she lied about her age to get the gig ) who met Elvis Presley Elvira seemed to be destined to become a pornstar or hooker since her body could multiply the sales number of any gentlemen's magazine without breaking a sweat.

On top of that her huge melons were just made to be wrapped tightly around a throbbing rock hard erection and massage it until it squirts like a freaking fire hose. Man, if only I could have met Elvira in person when I was in my sexual prime, I cannot imagine all the fun we could have had.

Her twin torpedoes and my dong would have been the best of friends.

Elvira did two movies but for my money the first one Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark is the superior one. The only thing that could have improved that film would have been if they had included some explicit sex scenes where Elvira has to go up against some Urotsukidoji II : Legend Of The Demon Womb like sex demons / tentacle monsters with giant schlongs.

Likewise if I had been the director I would have included an alternative ending where her evil uncle wins and keeps Elvira in his magic dungeon where he dick - tames her with sex magic like a cheap blow up sex doll all night long - every night. Until she becomes his submissive sex slave.

Now one of the reasons why I decided to include Elvira once again in this bonus section is that since I mentioned the hentai series Rinkan Club in an earlier post it only occurred to me later that this could be another addition to Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark to give the movie a darker tone.

Because we could expand on Elvira's ancestor Morgana's backstory that one of the reasons why she was such an outcast was that there was a Rinkan Club like secret society that used young blow up sex dolls for their perverted sex marathons and that they used and abused Morgana for an especially long and gruelling penetration sensation weekend party.

Elvira's great - aunt tried to resist them but knowing she was a witch they bound her with iron and slam - fucked her brains out seven ways to Walpurgis night without mercy. Also since she was a witch they had no pangs of conscience about drilling every orifice of her body in the most brutal way as they were convinced to deal out the lord's punishment.

After this traumatic experience Morgana tried everything in her power to disband the secret society but to no avail since all the powerful people in town - including Elvira's uncle - were members and were not willing to give up on this cheap excuse to use and abuse every big breasted, long legged chick in town like a phillipino hooker whenever they felt like it.

The scenes with Morgana could have been played by Cassandra Peterson without her signature Elvira make up demonstrating that she is a capable actress outside of her more famous Elvira persona. Plus there would have been plentiful occasions to showcase her ultimate pornstar body in extremely explicit sex scenes which I am sure all her fans would eat up.

Elvira is one of the famous Busenwunder on the blog where I always tell myself that I have to do an updated version of her cult siren entry - especially around Halloween which really should be just called Elvira's Christmas by now - but never get around to actually do it. As for comics with Elvira, The Mistress Of The Dark I never had any of the classic ones just a few of the issues from Claypool Comics and I had started to read the newest series from Dynamite Entertainment because I decided that I need more Elvira in my life. But as the series progressed more and more of the issues were left out of the orders in favour of more important series so some huge gaps were building. Then I had to sell my entire comicbook collection and I haven't had time to get any new issues with her since. One of these days I'll have to check them out on the internet.

Okay, I thought this would be my last Netflix & Chills video with Elvira but going over the list I found one video with the thumb down. So that is either a huge mistake of biblical proportions or I haven't posted that video yet. In any case I am too lazy to go over all of my posts featuring Elvira ( again ) so I will include that one in part two. Just to be sure.

Now I don't know about you but having Elvira as a teacher stirs up all kinds of phantasies and if I would have had a teacher with such epic sweater puppies that strain even the sturdiest of cleavages I would have done everything to get detention time with her. Especially if she was my Sex Ed teacher who turns every detention into a deepthroat detention.