Arnold and JaMILF Lee´s True Lies Tuesday

The biggest birthday is of course the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who turns 72. This was initially part of my post on Monique Gabrielle but then I just kept adding stuff and in the end I had to give it its own post.

Since this is a spin - off post and I don´t have the time I am not going to go over all of Arnold´s many iconic movies and just pick a few personal highlights. For me as a comicbook guy one of his most important as well as one of his best is of course CONAN THE BARBARIAN. I recently saw a video about the movie and the reviewer said that the reason why this is such an epic movie is that everybody who was involved in the movie was such a big fan of the original material by Robert E. Howard. Which proves that Hollywood´s trope that fanboys can´t make good movies is completely bs.

And not only is this the best Conan movie but the movie adaption was done by none other than John Buscema who drew the character for decades. I remember how floored I was when I found the spanish version of the comic which reprinted the entire story in one nice hardcover.

I also have to mention another movie that starts with a C, COMMANDO, best known for starring a young Alyssa Milano as Arnold´s daughter. The movie was called PHANTOM KOMMANDO in Germany, either because they thought it was not specific enough or so it could be better distinguished from all the other movies with the word Kommando in the german title.

Sexbomb Alyssa Milano ( who got two entries on this blog, the main post and the bonus round with her best episodes on CHARMED ) is of course best known as the most charming, sexiest and all around greatest of all the Halliwell witches, Phoebe Halliwell on the cult tv show Charmed.

According to some interviews she gave later she wasn´t so keen on some of the sexy outfits but Alyssa was the main reason why guys watched the show, it was all to see her shaking her hips as a sultry belly dancer with her tits hanging out or an almost naked mermaid. Also Alyssa was busy taming male co - stars Julian McMahon and Brian Krause as her personal sex slaves.

I did a re - post of Alyssa Milano´s cult siren entry on her birthday in 2016 and it is weird that she is trying to make herself the feminist figurehead of the Me Too movement with such actions like a proposal of a sex strike.

I wonder whom she is trying to make forget her nude roles, us or herself.

From the moment she showed her perfectly shaped tits to the world on Outer Limits - thanks to the lower restrictions of the Sci Fi Channel - it was clear this blow up sex doll was born for porn which she proved with her completely uninhibited sex scenes in Embrace Of The Vampire .

And as longtime readers of the blog know I can´t let the opportunity pass to mention one of my personal favorite Schwarzenegger flicks, TRUE LIES.

Of course one of the reasons why TRUE LIES is one of my favorite Arnold movies is mega MILF Jamies Lee Curtis incredibly hot striptease, the best striptease in movie history - at least according to a poll conducted in 2007.

Which is all the more impressive if you keep in mind that Jamie Lee Curtis was 36 at the time. So she did her best movie scene when her body was in remarkable shape - she exercised every day for this - and I cannot even begin to imagine how epic it would have been if she hadn´t kept on her underwear and gone full monty frontal nudity. Because James Cameron had seen her in A Fish Called Wanda and wrote the role of Helen Trasker specifically to see her nude body. A lot of other actresses auditioned for the role and while I could definitely see Demi Moore in that part ( who is the number one in my Top Movie Stripteases thanks to her spectacular performance in Striptease ) or even Kim Basinger, Michelle Pfeiffer, Geena Davis, Rosanna Arquette, Madonna, Jennifer Jason Leigh and possibly Lea Thompson or Sharon Stone I thank God that it wasn´t given to Emma Thompson, Melanie Griffith, Debra Winger, Anette Benning or Joan Cusak.

But Jamie was not always a sex symbol and started out in horror movies like Halloween and The Fog ( which also starred cult siren Adrienne Bareau about whom you can read more in this brand new spin - off post ) where she quickly became very famous for her impressive set of lungs as one of Hollywood´s premiere scream queens. Although she later became quite literal famous for her impressive set of lungs as her boobs had busted out and she quickly got the nickname " freezeframe " because her scenes in such movies like Perfect or Trading Places became the most paused on the vcr thanks to Jamie´s erection guaranteeing 34C - 22 - 34 measurements.

I have already done a number of posts on JaMILF Lee Curtis : the original post which mostly contains pictures with links to animated GIFs , one post with all the pictures I could find , a re - posted version with a few GIFs added and the post I did on her in 2016 which has lots of spectacular GIFs.

Speaking of spectacular GIFs, the reason why I am mentioning Demi Moore - besides the opportunity to feature her - is I wrote a new version of her cult siren entry ( part 1 / part 2 ) with more GIFs of Demi girating her booty than you can shake .... okay, I´m not going to finish the sentence.

Speaking of flexible born for porn hardbodies working the pole, while I don´t have a good striptease video from either JaMILF Lee Curtis nor Demi Moore ( for some reason the ones with the good scenes are always taken down faster than a speeding bullet ) here are the bootyshaking nympho blow up sex dolls from the Hot 100 Bikini Contest and some of their acrobatic skills suggest that participating in a bikini contest is just a side job and that their day job ( Or is that night job ? ) involves spreading their legs wider than a fillipino hooker who´s two months behind her rent.







Coming back to TRUE LIES, besides the boner - riffic striptease by Jamie Lee Curtis I think it´s a really underappreciated masterpiece that has everything from great comedy to big blockbuster action which might be one of the reasons why it still is not available on BlueRay. Anyway, here is a retrospective / review that might help convince you of its qualities.



For Today´s music video I picked one from the original TERMINATOR movie soundtrack and I really had to go over my bookmarks three times to find it.



Since Today is also my birthday I would like to grant myself a wish but getting blonde Busenwunder Oana Andoni from romanian tv station Pro Tv to give my rock hard boner a two hour deepthroat ejaculation lubrication massage with her huge boobs before some hardcore erection injection will probably remain an unfulfilled sex fantasy for me. So I am going for the next best thing that is also going to benefit my readers. It has been a long time since I mentioned her - for those who want to know how I became aware of Oana Andoni I explained it at length in this post - but now a lot of new videos with her have accumulated so I am using the next posts to put as many of them as I can on the blog before they are deleted again.

There is not much information about Über busty Oana Andoni on the internet especially in regards to her actual breast size. This must be a thing with hot news casters since she is not the only one where finding some information about their huge breast features is almost impossible.

Ever since I first wrote about Enki Bracaj I have been getting request for more videos with her since those are not that easy to find on YouTube but it seems I never get to do it. So I am including links for the best ones I have left right below. There are a few ones I am keeping just in case but these are the best ones of Enki in action that I have not posted yet. As for news about everyone´s favorite news girl aside from an interview where she went on record that her breast size is 34DD and all natural ( sadly I can´t link to the interview because the website is NSFW ) there is nothing new to report. Here are the videos with Enki in all her glory :

7:47 min of Enki letting it all hang out / 7:16 min Enki showing right nipple again and again / 7:14 min of Enki´s overdeveloped boobs trying to bust free / 6:19 of Enki´s huge rack almost exposing her nipple / 6:05 min of Enki fronting / 6:00 min of Enki letting it swing / 5:56 min of Enki letting it all hang loose / 5:40 of Enki and her heavenly hangers almost lying on the table / 5:13 min of Enki´s massive milkshakes looking hot / 5:04 Enki´s tits were made for massaging hard schlongs until they squirt / 5:03 min of Enki´s right nipple peeking out now and then / 4:56 Enki seconds away from showing right nipple / 4:55 min of blow up sex doll Enki pushing her big boobs together / 4:53 min of Enki teasing a nippleslip with her twin torpedoes / 4:47 min of Enki trying to keep the twins down / 4:18 min of Enki trying to cover up her big melons / 4:12 min of Enki delivering the goods / 3:38 of Enki rocking the cleavage ( slight nippleslip ) / 3:46 min of Busenwunder Enki getting jiggly with it / 3:17 Enkis boobs swinging low /

Coming back to Oana Andoni she was born on the 28th of February in 1978 which makes her 41. In previous posts I have written that 41 is probably her cup size, 41DD or 41E in the least, but the way her boobs have been growing in the last weeks it must be at least a 43 or 44EE, an F or even a G. In her case the term melons is right on spot. OMG ! I don´t think she got some porn implants like Yaya Han so either she is pregnant again or she is auditioning for a Russ Meyer kind of movie role. Just check out the first animated GIF I made of Aona Andoni where her boobs are already huge.

And this is Oana Andoni now. I swear, I have not altered these pictures.

You can find a biography here but for some reason my google translate doesn´t work so if anybody wants to lend a helping hand and translate it it would be much appreciated. When I didn´t need it google translate was constantly going off but now that I really could use it it doesn´t work anymore. What you can peruse without any translations is this link to a gallery with some pictures of Oana Andoni and at least she is on facebook.

What I still remember from when google translate worked is that there was a big scandal in 2016 because Oana wore a very transparent shirt during a live newscast - or what ever you call the piece of clothing that tries in vain to cover up Oana´s gigantic double airbags - and so the audience could see more than usual ( sorry, I haven´t found that clip yet ) which surely made for excellent ratings. I don´t know what they are complaining about since this is exactly what every male viewer was praying for years.

Now most of these videos are rather short so I am including a batch of five as usual. I could spend my summer vacation between those titanic tits.







Another comicbook that goes in the direction of fantasy is Jeff Smith´s BONE and while I really like the comic ( Which was a torture to read because you had to wait several months between issues and then you read it in five minutes. And that´s factoring in that I came late to the party - as always - and had to get the first three trades so that I could then jump to the actual issues. ) I don´t like the fact that a lot of people nowadays take this and THE LORD OF THE RINGS as examples for this crazy thesis that has come up lately that women and sex have no place in the fantasy genre. Which is completely nonsense since the whole sword and sorcery genre is built about muscular he men, evil wizards and getting it on with beautiful women. Also the only reason why I don´t object to the claim that BONE is the best fantasy comic is that John Buscema´s issues of CONAN THE BARBARIAN from Marvel is the best sword and sorcery comic.



Which brings us to the origin of another He - Man from one of his better cartoon incarnations. They are making another animated series but after the SJW - infested fiasko of the SHE - RA reboot I am not very optimistic.



TERMINATOR is one of the best known movies about time travel so here is the first episode of TIME TUNNEL, a wibbly wobbly timey wimey series.



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I´ll be back.

Tittilating Tuesday with Monique Gabrielle

Now in my last posts I have tried to fit the celebrity birthdays I missed since the previous post but since the intervalls between posts is getting too long I am just going to put the birthdays themselves into posts and posting them at the date of the last birthday included in each post.

And I have no illusion that it will take me various posts to accomplish this.

Now to make things shorter - while trying not to repeat myself too much - I am going to skip a lot of those birthdays that have to do with cult sirens that have already appeared in my last posts. I will however mention those who celebrated an anniversary but I will try my very best to keep it short.

In this spirit we come to a very abridged list from July the 30th as there are just too many birthdays on that day to cover them all. And like I said I am going to skip Hilary Swank although she turns 45 because I just wrote about how she unsuccessfully tried to cover up her pornstar body in THE NEXT KARATE KID in another spin - off. Where aside from Jaden Smith and tittilating Taraji P. Henson who co - starred in the last good KARATE KID movie you can find more karate / kung fu action than you can shake a stick at from the brilliant COBRA KAI tv show to martial arts booty Cynthia Rothrock, manwha artist Tony Wong, hasian pocket rocket Jenny Babas, Monkey King and nubian blow up sex dolls Tatyana Ali and Yunoka Doyle.

 

Who celebrates her 56th birthday Today is Andy Sidaris actress / TUTTI FRUTTI girl / G. L. O. W. wrestler / skin flick regular Becky Mullen but since she is constantly mentioned on the blog I am not going to write a lot about her as I´m afraid some people are already getting sick of her.

And I just wrote a spin - off post with all the usual links to Janet Jones Gretzky and real live Power Girl Leslie Easterbrook who had the most famous scene in Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol in which she emerges from a pool in a wet t - shirt . And while the obligatory Andy Sidaris actresses / playmates / sexbombs like Roberta Vasquez , Ava Cadell , brunette Cynthia Brimhall, Dona Speir , Julie Strain , Shae Marks , Julie K. Smith and Samantha Phillips are mentioned the main part is about blonde brabuster Monique Sluyter and the obligatory plethora of Tutti Frutti girls .

Now usually I just include a short part with them in the posts but this time I did a somewhat longer version so I could include all the new download links I found while writing this post. I just recently included a whole slew of new ones but those are just for compilation and mixes while these new ones are not only for entire episodes - which are always ultra rare - but for german episodes which are even rarer . Some of them even include my favorite Tutti Frutti girl ( whom you can see just below ).

The only celebrity birthday I´m covering at length is one I wrote about in previous posts but always too short. I am talking about Monique Gabrielle, one of the biggest erotic movie stars of the 80s / 90s who also turned 56.

Beautiful, buxom and shapely Monique Gabrielle added an ample, alluring and invigorating dose of smoldering sex appeal to a bunch of enjoyably down´n´ dirty horror and exploitation pictures made throughout the 80s and 90s. The 5' 6" natural brunette who was born in Kansas City, Missouri and raised in Denver, Colorado started modeling while still in high school, entering her first beauty pageant at seventeen ( she won the title of Miss American Legion and went on to participate in other pageants, modeling competitions and nightclub contests ), and moved to California in 1980 right after she graduated from high school. Monique then had small but still mam - orable roles in AIRPLANE II : THE SEQUEL, NIGHT SHIFT, YOUNG DOCTORS IN LOVE, FLASHDANCE, HARD TO HOLD, FEAR OF A BLACK HAT.

From there, Monique became one of the most in - demand and most gloriously often displayed naked babes in the movies and she achieved her greatest enduring popularity as the enticing young woman who tries to seduce Tom Hanks in the uproariously raucous' n' raunchy BACHELOR PARTY.

Speaking about BACHELOR PARTY, one of my pet pevees on this blog is celebrating all the brave actresses who turn insufferable dreck into bearable entertainment by taking their clothes off or at least show what their Mama gave them and who don´t get enough recognition for that .

Back then they put the emphasis in screwball comedy on the screw part so there were a lot of hot massitas like uncredited blonde bombshell Angela Ames who could have easily starred in a POWER GIRL movie.

So it´s no wonder that among her sadly too few credits ( she passed away with only 32 ) is the 1984 Jim Wynorsky skin flick THE LOST EMPIRE besides former blow up sex doll template Raven De La Croix who played the role of überbusty amazonian princess. I wrote a bit more about Raven De La Croix in my first Justice League Casting Alternates post and you can find more about the Russ Meyer movie UP ! in this recent post including some spiffy new animated GIFs of born for porn actress Janet Wood who tried to bang her homosexual co - star Robert McLane straight again in the worst way.

As a last word on Russ Meyer I want to mention my entries into the Boob Hall of Fame for Haji and Tura Satana which I re - posted in 2016 which is mostly about FASTER PUSSYCAT ! KILL ! KILL ! ( THE DEVIL WOMEN OF TITTFIELD in german ) although it touches on her other movies and has her full bio. By the way, I didn´t just mention Raven De La Croix to include the links but also because her 72nd birthday will be on the 24th of August.

Coming back to Angela Ames she not only appeared on four episodes of NIGHT COURT but also on two episodes of THE FALL GUY. Which normally would mean another long tangent but you can find the usual plethora of pictures, GIFs and clips of 80s sexbombs Markie Post and Heather Thomas as well as another new ( ly posted ) episode of THE FALL GUY in my recent ROBERT DAVY MOVIE RUMMAGE TABLE post so here is the short version.

80s Power Girl Markie Post is probably the best known cult siren on the blog because not only have I done many re - posts of her original post .

I also keep mentioning her in other posts and her original post is in the Top Ten Posts widget that appears on every post. Since I have done so many different versions it is not so tragic that I did not do a re - post last year even though I did the last version of her cult siren entry in 2016 .  

But let´s get back to BACHELOR PARTY. My how times have changed. Back then I didn´t know much english so for me a bachelor was a cool guy who had crazy adventures, drank a lot of alcohol and had wild sex with as many hot women as possible before getting married. Not some douchebag who had a few dozen sexbombs fall all over themselves to get a stupid rose.

And yes, that really is a very young Michael Dudikoff in that scene.

And it´s a miracle that they stayed with the original title BACHELOR PARTY instead of something like DER TOTAL VERRÜCKTE JUNGGESELLENABSCHIED oder RICK`S FEUCHTFRÖHLICHE SAUSE. Germans just love to come up with crazy movie titles that have nothing to do with the plot of the movie.



Anyway, all throughout my teenage years the movie had a FSK 18 rating in Germany ( which means you have to be 18 to watch the movie ) - mostly for the scenes with Monique Gabrielle and the next actress I am going to mention - but in 2010 the movie was reviewed again and was rated FSK 12.

Now Toni Alessandrini is better known as she was in quite a few bikini competitions around the time the BIKINI OPEN were so popular and in some erotic tv series. Besides having 16 movie credits the stripper who says of herself : " My whole body is an erogenous zone. " won Miss World Burlesque 1980, Miss Exotic World 1991 and danced in a Playboy revue.

Continuing with Monique Gabrielle, her most memorable roles include a pathetic junkie snitch in the terrifically trashy babes - behind - bars classic CHAINED HEAT, a sweet princess and her evil twin in DEATHSTALKER II, a nude model in the funny sketch comedy AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON, alongside - and on top of - dark haired sexbomb Rachel Vickers in ANGEL EYES, a gutsy lady cop in SILK 2, nerdy, repressed Megan in the delightfully dippy EVIL TOONS and there is even a comic book related role since she played feisty security chief Miss Poinsettia in the amusingly campy THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING with sexy Heather Locklear in the lead role.

Here in Europe she is of course best known for the steamy EMANUELLE 5 in which Monique Gabrielle played the woman she was born to bring to the big screen : the titular brazen and uninhibited sexual adventuress, the french soft sex kitten with the inexhaustible body of a Playmate of the Year ( or rather a Penthouse Pet Of The Month for December 1982 in Monique´s case ), the sex drive of a nymphomaniac and the morals of a hooker who always seems to have trouble keeping her clothes on and her long legs together. It is the pinnacle of her thespian career as well as the zenith of all the Emanuelle movies and the rest is as they say history.

After Monique Gabrielle the role went to german Sexbombe Natalie Uher who became famous as the youngest german playmate with sixteen and the youngest actress to play Emanuelle with twenty in EMANUELLE 6.

She tried her breast to fill out the role and had considerable sex appeal for a skinny chick not to mention that she is rather adept at removing her clothes whenever the script calls for it baring every square - inch of her spectacular boy ( here her model skills come in quite handy ) but she is no Monique Gabrielle who has a body to die for. Sadly this was her third and last movie since she could have made a fortune if she had continued but she left the showbiz and is now happily married with two children.



Before that I had only seen two movies with original sexbomb Sylvia Kristel who - at least according to her biography - worked as a secretary and quit to become a model because she was constantly used as a blow up sex doll by the entire male staff ( no pun intended ) due to her porn star body. 

Besides that american audiences are probably most familiar with Krista Allen who played Emanuelle in eight made for tv movies . Because she did it when her incredible body was in prime condition she was able to believable portray the french sex machine with the high moan factor who merciless milks men dry until they can´t remember on which side the doorknob is. The show had some strange 3D effects - because that was the new thing at that time - and the stories were not that great but it was all worth it to see Miss Allen get her freak on. Whoa, did she ever.

Here it was shown on PRO7 but so far I haven´t seen the DVDs anywhere.

The bodacious Krista Allen played Clark Kent´s hot new teacher on SMALLVILLE, Jim Carey´s new neighbor with the big boobs in LIAR LIAR and the sexy oracle on CHARMED ( she was also in a series called Black Widow which had nothing to do with the Marvel character ) but she is probably best known for her role of Jenna Avid on BAYWATCH HAWAII.

And for more on such baywatchable babes like Erika Eleniak ( who is of course most famous for her incredibly steamy striptease in UNDER SIEGE ), Pamela Anderson , nubian sex doll Traci Banghim or natural born go go dancer Carmen Elektra check out my latest BAYWATCH SPIN - OFF POSTS.

To wrap up Monique Gabrielle, she did guest spots on DREAM ON, HUNTER and HARDBALL and was the onetime girlfriend of low - budget straight - to - video picture director Jim Wynorski. She popped up in a handful of his movies in both minor and more substantial parts alike. Monique cheerfully poked fun at her own b - flick queen persona in SCREAM QUEEN HOT TUB PARTY where she co - starred with happy handfuls of other nude fright - flick starlets like Michelle Bauer. Monique Gabrielle married adult film director Tony Angove in 2003. She now lives in South Florida and runs a porno movie production company called Monique's Purrfect Productions.



While I want to keep this post short I still want to acknowledge Hilary Swank´s birthday. And I still have some clips left from the Karate Kid movie where the gay wannabe soldiers were trying to mob her. And I´m saying " trying to mob her " because in the real world instead of banging her up they would have really banged her up. They would have dragged Julie to their clubhouse and taken turns taming her to be their blow up sex doll.

That they were totally oblivious to Hilary´s obvious porn star qualities also accounts for the " gay " part. Even the producers of the movie knew that the part didn´t make any sense which is why they tried to cover up her 34C knockers for the entire movie because once you saw her booming body in action the suspension of disbelieve went flying out the window.

And when I say "flying " I mean flying. You can say what you want about the quality of the movie but Hilary really knows how to spread her legs and I´m sure a lot of teenage viewers had other things on their mind than martial arts when they saw her doing those high kicks in her tight pants.



With all the good things in Jade Smith´s life I´m sure he cursed like a sailor because he was still a minor when he starred in the remake of The Karate Kid alongside african - american aphrodite MILF Taraji Penetration Henson.

You can say what you want about the effectiveness of PETA - as long as their ad campaigns manage to convince sexbombs like Taraji to show off her 38C - 28 - 37 measurements I´m okay with that. Can you believe she was already 45 years old when she posed naked for this picture ? Daimn !

It´s no wonder Clint Eastwood picked Taraji as the lead in Proud Mary. I bet Marvel regrets now that they didn´t give her a role in their movies.



Since I am pretty sure that I already posted episode 14 from season 3 " The Huntress " here is episode 10 from the 5th season titled " Miami´s Nice " which is the other The Fall Guy episode with brabuster Angela Ames.



These spin - off posts are a welcome opportunity to post the videos that have accumulated since I don´t get to post as often as I want and one I tried to put on the blog a few times is Make Me Feel by Janelle Monáe.



We already had a video about german culture in this post but since I don´t get to include many videos in german here is one about the history and cultural significance of Mickey Mouse or like he is called here Micky Maus.



Speaking about comics in Germany, one of my favorite cartoon shows growing up was Calimero or Calimero mit Sombrero like he was called here. The series was produced by the same guys who did Grisu and as much as I love the series it was sadly not entirely free of stereotypes like the anti comicbook propaganda that was very prevalent at that time.



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It´s an injustice !