Monday, January 31, 2022

Meet the new year, same as the old year

As you might guess from the title of this post so far the year 2022 looks just like a continuation of the year 2021 with not much of a difference. So - as has become a staple on this blog - we start the year on a high note with some special selected art pieces that I didn´t get to post in 2021.


One of the reasons why 2022 looks a lot like 2021 is that once again I´m literally doing this post at the last possible moment so it will appear on the blog in January, totally under the wire. Yes, I still haven´t found anybody who can fix the laptop. And for those keeping tabs I still haven´t made any headway with the so - called " life stuff ". Now I don´t know if that is because the spanish bureaucracy is even worse than the german ( which at least is well organized and efficient ) or because of COVID 19 you need to make an appointment for everything first while at the same time all appointments in person have been suspended so your only option is the internet. Which in Spain seems to be especifically designed to confuse people. But with the limited time I have on the internet nowadays we will keep an extensive account of all these problems for later. Suffice it to say that I made several applications but I would be very surprised if it works.

Coming back to the topic of this post, usually I select the best of the best of all the original unposted art I currently have on the laptop. But as I said, I don´t have as much time for making posts so instead of going through my complete picture archive I am posting something I have already peprared.

Which is not to say that the art pieces in this post are of lesser quality. What´s more, I´m combining this with the popular UNPUBLISHED ART.

Now I have done these kind of posts before and for the most part those contained mainly unpublished covers for comicbooks. Well, in this instance I am also including some unpublished covers for magazines as well as some unpublished interior pages. As always I am including the published cover for those unpublished covers that were intended for a specific issue. We are starting off with covers by the very underrated Alex Saviuk for SPIDER - MAN : PARALLEL LIVES which was supposed to be a three part story serialized in WEB OF SPIDER - MAN but then was turned into a graphic novel. Since Alex Saviuk had already done three covers they were supposed to be used as chapter openings but that never happened either.

With original art from so many different series and artists it´s difficult to pick a fitting comicbook related video so instead I am including one that should have been in my latest Frank Miller appreciation post by all rights.


With the limited time I have nowadays I have to skip most of the celebrity birthdays but there´s one from December the 20th I just have to mention.

Longtime readers know that one of my pet pevees on this blog is celebrating all the brave actresses who turn insufferable dreck into bearable entertainment by taking their clothes off or at least show what their Mama gave them and who don´t get enough recognition for that .


Thus I want to give a shoutout to one of the biggest movie cult sirens of my youth : sexbomb Joyce Hyser who celebrated her 64th anniversary.

And before you ask : you don´t know Joyce Hyser, you don´t remember the movie Just One Of The Guys for which she is best known but I bet you remember this scene where she shows her incredibly big ..... talents.

In the scene she tries to convince this guy that she is really a girl but nothing works until she pops her porn star boobs out. What was missing from the movie were the consequences of this revelation. They showed some of them. But in the real world it would have been like : The good news is you managed to convince him you´re a girl. The bad news is you managed to convince him you´re a girl. Because once that guy gets an eyeful of living blow up sex doll Joyce Hyser´s huge melons she would not leave his bedroom for the next three weeks while this horny pervert tries to dicktame her, banging her brains out until she is his obedient sex slave.


Back in the 80s your best bet to see some naked breasts were screwball comedies because you knew even if the script was totally worthless and the actors without any kind of talent you were going to get boobage .


Joyce Hyser may not be famous and may not have played in the best movies but every prebubescent boy growing up in the 80s saw this movie.



And to think she almost didn´t do it. Joyce had a no nudity clause in her contract and was against showing her wonder twins especially after a female friend told her : " Honey, WITH THOSE BREASTS if you GO TOPLESS in that scene, NO ONE you meet will EVER look you INTO YOUR EYES again ." Thankfully Joyce Hyser shot the scene showing her breasts and without showing them and in the end decided that the scene didn´t work if she didn´t go topless. This is what I call " poetry in motion ".


So the thanks of an entire generation of hormone driven boys is yours for logic winning over superstition. Or naked breasts winning over whatever.


Now Joyce Hyser´s bonerinducing twin torpedoes appear in a lot of lists about the best gratuitous nude scenes in movies and in fact one person even ranked it as the number one gratuitous nude scene in movies. And while I agree that Joyce Hycer´s massive milkshakes deserve the top spot in any countdown I have to call foul on his reasoning. The reason why it has the top spot on the list is that - according to this guy - it is completely gratuitous and absolutely absurd. He claims that it is totally unnecessary for Joyce Hyser to pop out her wonderful breasts and that it would be much easier to show the guy her drivers license or ID to convince him she is a girl. Yeaah, right. I am no expert on life in America and mostly get my knowledge about that from movies, tv shows, comics and the internet.


But even I know that those documentations can be faked. So I ask you : what would convince you if a person is a guy or a girl ? Some ID that can be easily faked by teenagers as we see so often in american sping break comedies or a pair of juicy juggs like Joyce Hyser presents ? Rest my case.


Apropos ultimate sexbombs and giant beach balls, longtime followers of the blog already know that I can´t resist new material with cosplay icon Yaya Han so when I found out she had a new video up I just had to post it.


Initially I just wanted to include the video and a link to my last Yaya Han post but the links to older Yaya Han posts in there are just all over the place so I had no other choice than to include the obligatory Yaya links - plus a few new ones. Unfortunately the following part has become longer than planned so I seized the opportunity to write another spin - off post .

So far I´ve written six posts on Yaya - two of them are pretty safe but the other four are absolutely not safe for work - and I keep mentioning her on various JLA casting posts and any other posts involving asian sexbombs like flex appealing Kiana Tom, Ava Cadell, Akira Lane, Miko Lee, korean wrestling knockout Gail Kim a.k.a. Die Geile Kim or 55KK ( !!! ) Minka .


I swear the completely NSFW BIG YAYA HAN POST is still in the pipeline. In the meantime I have made two new posts about Yaya which showcase a part of her incredible anatomy that I have ignored too often - her legs.


For some reason I didn´t get to do a birthday post for Yaya Han in 2019 so to compensate for that I did three new ones in 2020 ( since I couldn´t get all the new pictures with her I wanted to post into one post ) : the first one is a spotlight on her Eliza from Tekken Revolution cosplay, the second one has five more erection guaranteeing cosplays with the asian extreme ejaculation sensation and post number three has my final selection of Yaya Han´s breast new cosplays mostly of Danganrompa´s Junko Enoshima.


And there is also a special Eliza / Chun Li spotlight post which was my first reader´s request Yaya Han post ever and the second part of it right here .


Yaya Han also appeared in three other posts in 2021. The first one was supposed to be all about flexual dynamo Kiana Tom but as always things quickly derailed and it´s all about asian sexbombs but especially blow up sex doll Yaya Han and her giant - sized 40D oppai. As one post was not enough I decided to make a second Yaya Han spin - off post and this one is all about the erotic movie I would like to shoot with her, and with the third try I finally managed to write my planned Kiana Tom birthday post .


With these two posts you might think I have gotten everything off my chest but nonetheless Akira Lane had to share her latest birthday post with Yaya Han as I phantasized about a menage a trois with those two.


It´s back to comicbooks with the Modesty Blaise movie from 1966. It is kind of a repost but since I posted this back in 2016 I guess it´s okay.


The reason why I wanted to include it again is that not that long ago I came across a whole slew of spy flicks from the 60s all through the 80s ( which I still have to watch but once I´m done with that the best ones will find their way here - if they are not blocked ) among them this one. As I understand it it´s a pilot from 1982 for a tv series that was never realized.


There is also the Quentin Tarantino movie My Name Is Modesty from 2003 but apparently that one is as bad as Frank Miller´s adaption of Will Eisner´s The Spirit. I have not seen it so I really can´t say much about the quality.


And for those readers that are not familiar with Modesty Blaise here is a video about the creator and history of the groundbreaking comic strip.


Since there is no Modesty Blaise cartoon here is another episode of my favorite secret agent / spy / mystery cartoon series, Bob Morane.


Who would have no problem filling out Modesty Blaise´s skintight leather jumpsuit - although she would also be fantastic as Bond girl Chu Pamela Vergadura ( preferrably with an extremely explicit nude sex scene ) - is singing blow up sex doll Male Farias. I think she is from Argentina but since I could not find any information on her I can´t confirm neither that nor her actual measurement. I could only find these three bonerinducing performances by wet sex dream Male Farias so I am including them all.


Now besides showcasing another unjustly unknown cult siren with a body made for earning a fortune by starring in adult movies the main reason for including the videos was to spread word about the channel Passion TV from Argentinia. Which not only has a truckload of live performances but also videos of the mega hot dancers on the program who were born to display their nude bodies on the pole. I still haven´t gone through all but I have included the best video of the massitas I have checked out so far ( and believe me, it was not easy to narrow it down to just one video ).

Although some of the videos were too explicit for YouTube so I could not include them here. Which is another reason to check out this channel.

Now have fun with Cristina Encina a.k.a. Kitty, Ana Toloza ( who brought me to this channel in the first place ), Flor Bruckner, Melody Toscano, Ayelen Suarez, Natalya Araujo and last but not least Yohana Angulo.


Speaking of women who were born to wear skintight latex, we are taking a trip down memory lane in the way back machine to wax philosophic about Buck Rogers In The 25th Century which had such incredible sex goddesses like Erin Grey, Pamela Hensley ( you can read more about her in this post ) and the late Markie Post. Usually I would include the obligatory Markie Post section but I am still processing her passing so I am waiting until I have the time to do a post she deserves. Coming back to Buck Rogers In The 25th Century, it is a show that must be seen when there is no womensfolk around. Which has nothing to do with anti - feminismn but the last time I watched it I made the mistake to do it while a woman was present and she would not shut up about what an incredibly chauvinistic caveman Buck Rogers is throughout the entire episode. Which is kind of the point - and the realistic part - of the series : Buck Rogers is a man from the 70s who finds himself shot to the far flung future so naturally he has problems with women being in charge. Because that was not so common in the 70s. And you have to give his character some time to assimilate it.

Or you can bitch about it the whole time instead of enjoying the series.


We continue with the german Buck Rogers, Perry Rhodan, and another video that I would have in a previous post if only I had found it sooner. For those who saw the disappointing Perry Rhodan movie this fanmade video gives you a better idea what a Perry Rhodan movie should look like even if he had to resort to computer graphics. Although if they did one now I fear it would fare worse than Valerian And The Planet Of A Thousand Cities ( which is worth the price of admission based solely on Rihanna´s pole dance ) because even less people are familiar with the source material.


Apropos picking up where we left of in older posts, we continue our journey through martial art flicks with King Of The Kickboxers from 1990 starring Billy Blanks. The movie was billed as Karate Tiger 5 in Germany.


As it couldn´t have been any other way, while looking for an episode of The Art Of Action with Billy Blanks I came across one with Kurt McKinney, who played the lead character in No Retreat No Surrender - which I included in another post. I didn´t want to go back and mess with it so I am putting it here. By the way, I DID find an episode with another cast member from King Of The Kickboxers but since I don´t like to have two similar videos in the same section you can find it in an upcoming post.


Gundarr is another recent YouTube find and I can´t tell you if I like it or not. I haven´t seen enough episodes to make that decision. Apropos episodes, since they are short here is part 2 of the Gundarr marathon.


We have another video I had to post ASAP featuring none other than my number one sex fantasy of all times, the best body in showbiz, Janet " All Night - Don´t Stop " Action Jackson - the living nubian blow up sex doll that walks like a prostitute - ( who has three solo posts on the blog plus three entries in my Justice League cast ) who not only is a well known sex nymfomaniac who dicktamed Justin Timberlake and confessed to be addicted to test out sex toys - especially double dildos - but it´s also an open secret that she insists on inspecting all new employees - orally

There are rumors that one of her video shoots turned into a sex orgy with half a dozen of her male dancers but there is no proof and if there is any footage of the squirt marathon it is under lock and key. There are however two versions of the incident. There are sources who are connected to Janet Jackson who say that the dancers were so turned on by Janet Jackson on the previous rehearsal that they took a viagra overdose and took turns pumping the afro american aphrodite´s porn star body. Other sources connected to the defense of the dancers claim that it was Janet Jackson herself who forced the dancers to take the viagra overdose so she could use them as her breeding stallions and things got out of hand fast.


It´s no secret that Janet Jackson was predestined to play a stripper not only because of her incredibly fit and flexible pornstar hardbody which could have earned her a fortune as one of the biggest super stars in the adult entertainment industry but also because she has some incredible stripper moves that make real striptease pros envious . Which nasty Miss Jackson more than proved in Jermaine Dupri´s music video Gotta Getcha where Janet plays one extremely busty stripper dressed up as a school girl or teacher . I don´t know if the script explicitly said " busty stripper " but with her huge DD melons it´s the only kind Janet can believably portray.


I always knew that Janet was a sex freak ( Janet admitted to joining the Mile High Club and is a well known size queen ) and although the rumors that Bobby Brown banged her in the 80s might not be true it is much more believable that she used Justin Timberlake as her sextoy and dumped him after a month of steamy sex marathons . According to Justin it took Janet an hour to get in my pants after we first hooked up and she was so wild in bed that I didn´t know how to handle it. I was falling in love with Miss Jackson but during our get - togethers she only wanted to have sex.

I don´t think of myself as sexy but I am a very sexual being, I always have sex on my mind. I feel very comfortable with it and I think it´s great if a guy has a good sized package. I know the effect my body has on guys so I sometimes use it to get especially well hung guys into my bedroom where I tie them to the bed and bang their brains out in a marathon sex orgy.

I go completely crazy and make them squirt again and again until they are completely drained. I regret doing it but I´ll turn around and do it again.

Man, now that she´s getting divorced all the horny perverts around the world are hoping to dicktame this ASSential afro - american aphrodite six ways to Sunday. But they will only be used by blowjob addict Janet as her personal sex toys since she has a lot of pent up sexual energy and will go on a sperm extraction spree, massaging huge monstercocks with her giant boobs, deepthroating schlongs left and right until they squirt like crazy.


Closing things out we have a video I wasn´t even looking for because I never thought I would find it on YouTube : the episode of Candid Camera with Chris Howland with the best prank they ever pulled - the talking gorilla. Those who have already seen it know what I am talking about.


New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

We would be rulers of Earth now if you hadn´t let Buck Rogers onboard.

No comments: