TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN: July 2024

When I decided to do a special post for Today's anniversary I immediately knew I wanted to do a Superman post because it has been six months since I tackled that particular topic and I don't know about you but for me that is way too long for a blog called TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN.

At first I wanted to do one of these posts with original art from various periods of his publishing history as a kind of homage to the Superman from my misspent youth about whom Today's audience seems to have totally forgotten. But as it turns out I don't have enough high quality original art for that. I also entertained the idea of doing a GOODBYE GERMANY post only using the covers from the classic issues of SUPERMAN / BATMAN, SUPERMAN SUPERBAND, SUPERMAN ALBUM, SUPERMAN EXTRA or SUPERMAN TASCHENBUCH but then I can make that any other day.

So my next idea was to make a post of my favourite era in Superman's publishing history - the post CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS relaunch by John Byrne - even if I had to use some original art by other artists like Dan Juergens , Jon Bogdanove , Kerry Gammill , George Perez or Jerry Ordway. I even thought about including some pages from the LEGENDS crossover since that was also drawn by John Byrne but thanks to a bit of internet research we have an all John Byrne SUPERMAN post. Which is apparently also a first for this blog. And speaking of George Perez we still have him doing the inks for the 600th issue of ACTION COMICS.

Now my first idea was to put the original art in alphabetical order but that would get too confusing when we get to the crossover between Superman, Superboy and The Legion of Super - Heroes . I have already mentioned it in various posts - in fact I went much more into detail in my post about retconned Supergirl - that when John Byrne decided to really making Superman the last son of Krypton thus eliminating Krypto, Supergirl , all the kryptonian criminals in the Phantom Zone, Superman travelling back in time to visit Krypton any other day the one thing that caused really big problems was that thanks to this altered timeline there never was a Superboy to inspire the formation of the Legion . So they decided that now Mon - El had been the inspiration for the Legion since as a Daxamite he had similar powers. The only problem was that now that Mon - El was the substitute for Superboy they had to come up with a substitute for Mon - El. And Supergirl since she had also been a Legion member. It was a whole mess but as I said, I wrote more about it here .

Anyway, even with all the trouble it caused it was probably the right decision to get rid of all of Superman's adventures as Superboy and the crossover between Superman, Superboy and the Legion of Super - Heroes is not only one of the best stories in John Byrne's run of the Superman titles it also leads to the best send - off for the pre - CRISIS Superboy.

So, I think this is enough of an introduction and like I said I will put the art in the order it came out according to the MAN OF STEEL trades. That is one of the few instances where I not only re - bought the trades after coming to Spain but had a good excuse to upgrade to the hardcovers.

One omnibus I still haven't been able to replace is the SUPERMAN - EXILE omnibus because it is currently too expensive just like the new triangle era omnibus. Man, I had so many Superman issues be it american issues, german issues, spanish issues, single issues, albums, pocket books, trade paperbacks, omnibus or collected editions from all decades of his long history that I don't want to even think about it or I get too depressed.

the super or the man

super stuff

super links

super videos

caped crusaders

panic

superman trilogy

meredith salenger 42C - 27 - 37 sadly I could neither find a good animated GIF of her breast scenes nor make one myself

dance routine

dream a little dream

three supermen

SUPERMAN'S GIRLFRIEND TERI HATCHER : THE BEST THERE IS ...

of Lois & Clark, The New Adventures Of Superman with my favourite Lois Lane in live action, not so desperate 38C - 22 - 33 former cheerleader Teri " I'm not a stripper ! " Hatcher .

Teri is still the gold standard when it comes to portraying Lois Lane since she was the first actress who made it believable that Superman chose a mortal over such ultimate sexbombs like Wonder Woman or Big Barda .

During the Bronze Age the character of Lois Lane made the transition of a woman whose only goal was to trick Superman into marrying her - who just happens to be a reporter - to a bonafide reporter and she frequently went undercover to get the scoop. In the tv show they did a bit of that but with a wet sex dream like Teri Hatcher on the job they could have done much more if they didn't have to deal with tv censorship. There could have been a story where Lois and Clark pose as a criminal couple in the vein of Bonnie and Clyde and to make it more convincing they put on a sex show for the horny gangsters who are secretly observing them.

Of course they hit a snag when they find out that the boss of the outfit used to have a fling with the woman Lois Lane is substituting - and when I say fling I mean that he slam - fucked the slut's brains out six ways to Sunday with his giantsized horseschlong - so to keep her cover Lois has no other choice than to let him use her as his personal blow up sex doll.

Check out my last post on cult siren Teri Hatcher to read more about her comic book connections like her appearance in Tales From The Crypt or Tango & Cash where she showed her incredible body and dancing skills .

Speaking of Tango & Cash it is often cited as one of the most 80s movies of all times which should be no surprise since it came out in 1989 and so caught the 80s at their height but also gave you a taste of 90s excess. It goes without saying that the exotic dance by Teri Hatcher - who really knows how to do those high kicks - alone is worth the price of admission.

Daimn, with those legs for miles and her pornstar body Teri could really inflict some serious damage and I bet there were many special late night rehearsals where she pumped Dean Cain dry to the last drop making him squirt like a fire hose again and again and again until he could not get it up anymore. Teri drove him insane and completely wore his schlong out.

Since I mentioned it in my second new post about Alan Davis EXCALIBUR series here is episode 113 of SciFriday that includes an episode of Blue Thunder which guest stars 40C - 25 - 35 Ueber cougar Tracy Scoggins .

You can say what you want but that is one lady who does get around.

Of course Tracy Scoggins really caught my attention wearing bikinis that were so skimpy that it's a wonder they passed the tv censors ( maybe it was because in the 90s bikinis were big on tv shows like The Bikini Open or maybe Tracy had a deepthroat session with the board of censorship behind closed doors ) as Daily Planet gossip columnist Cat Grant ( who was co - created by Marv Wolfman and Jerry Ordway ) on Lois & Clark.

Men milking machine Tracy Scoggins was also part of franchise Babylon 5 by none other than J. Michael Straczynski, acclaimed writer of series like RISING STARS and MIDNIGHT NATION ( and you can find my list of Top 5 Comicbook Series By J. Michael Straczynski in this Gil Kane post from 2016 ) especially the tv movie River Of Souls where she wears lingerie.

Another main attraction of Babylon 5 - at least for the male audience - is Commander Susan Ivanova played by brabusting brunette 36B - 25 - 38 science fuck - tion cult siren Claudia Christian although I heavily doubt she was allowed to wear an outfit as skimpy as this one on that show !

Claudia wore that little number on the undeservedly underrated film The Hidden delivering a surprisingly professional and raunchy striptease that not only helped the movie gain a loyal male following over the decades based on Claudia's participation ( some people even go as far as Claudia's bonerinducing striptease is the only reason the movie is still shown on tv ) but also earned her a top spot in my TOP 10 MOVIE STRIPTEASE list .

Coming back to The Hidden, in the movie bi - sexual Claudia Christian plays a stripper which is a role Claudia was clearly born to portray !

She is taken over by a sex addicted alien parasite and the first thing the alien does with the stripper´s porn body is literally fuck a guy to death.

Which apparently she tried to re - enact with Kyle MacLachlan for a few weeks in a nearby no - tell motel where she used her relentless body and her ability to spread her legs like a fillipino hooker to pump his dick dry.

Man, Kyle really got to bang some grade a born for porn sexbombs during his career since not only deepthroat nymphomaniac Claudia Christian milked his horsecock dry until the last drop in a hidden motel. Nobody can tell me that he didn't drill all natural 38C - 22 - 35 showgirl Elizabeth Berkley without mercy during their uninhibited sex scenes in the pool .

haters

animated

lobo

part two

power records

perfect animation

perfect as power girl

steel

terence hill with superpowers

zwei ausser rand und band aka crime busters

nonstop nonsens

millionenspiel the germans invented running man dieter hallervorden as a tough gangster

hallervorden

britney spears slave 4 u video

total britney live

boys slave for you live

her most bonerinducing performance

her most iconic one

imitation game

britney mode

glee

forgotten

adelheid

plumpaquatsch

krypton

supersonic

man

even worse

the most dangerous game first adaption

SUPERMAN'S GIRLFRIEND ERICA DURANCE : NOT SO SMALL ( VILLE ) !

Coming back to the number two Lois Lane in movies or tv series I am of course talking about curvaceous canadian Erica Durance whose nickname in college was En Durance because the entire football team took turns putting her all natural 40C - 24 - 36 pornstar body to the endurance test.

Once those horny bastards got her drunk enough they handcuffed her to the bed in their special soundproof " taming chamber " where they tag - teamed the helpless sexbomb up to five guys at the same time pounding her merciless in every orifice of her body with their giant pulsating cocks during their after game viagra parties when they used every cheerleader and bigbreasted teacher they could capture like cheap blow up sex dolls.

Having an ultimate sexbomb like Erica Durance on the cast the producers of Smallville naturally used every opportunity to put her into revealing outfits like in the episode where Aquaman was introduced where Erica got to display her mesmerizing measurements in a striking red bikini.

Speaking of bikinis, there was also an episode where Lois Lane went undercover as a stripper wearing a very patriotic stars and stripes bikini.

And while this technically qualifies as a striptease since she takes some of her clothes off Erica Durance really didn't get to show off more than her spectacular body since both - the tv censorship and the character she played - prevented her from applying any superior stripper skills.

Thankfully the directors knew that Erica would be hesitant to let her inner sex freak out and thus conned her into slutting it up a few notches by telling her that they would play the entire scene for comedic relief.

In the version they sold to Erica Lois Lane would be forced go on stage and do this like incredibly sexy striptease not to blow her cover and she would think she is terrific and the guys would get huge erections - after all Erica Durance trained a few weeks for this scene - when in reality she would be really bad and everybody would be turned off and embarrassed and at the end she would fall on her tight and shapely ass or something.

And to the guys credit they really did film it that way. But when they cut the scene they took out most of the funny parts and at the end we only had the awkward bit at the beginning where Lois Lane is really stiff and doesn't know what to do but then she turns into such a baddie stripper star that the viewer wonders why she never pursued this career instead of journalism when she was clearly built for it and had the talent needed to become a striptease super star. Or at least she could have used these abilities to go undercover in a few more episodes. In any case kudos to the directors for tricking Erica Durance into fulfilling our wet fanboy sex dreams and also to Erica for being a pro - in more than one sense - doing the necessary preparation, delivering a memorable striptease but mostly for being a good sport in this scene and others where she showed skin.

In any case Erica Durance made it seem logical that a humanoid looking alien from a doomed planet who had the ability to leap giant bedposts in a single bound, penetrate even the tightest womanhood faster than a speeding bullet, pound them with the power of a locomotive and squirt endlessly like a mighty river could not help himself falling hard for her.

With co - stars that have such good chemistry there are always rumors about a secret relationship but both - Tom Welling and Erica Durance - have denied that they had an affair. Tom Welling even went so far as to go on record that he would never date a co star. On the other hand just because you are not dating your co star who is built like a damn pornstar does not mean you can't slam - bang her brains out in a nearby no - tell motel until you can't get it up anymore whenever you are not shooting.

I got to hand it to the producers who knew exactly what their audience wanted and used every cheap excuse to display Erica Durance boner - inducing hardbody and put her in lots of bikinis, PLAYBOY bunny outfits or even naked in the shower. For us as the viewers the scene was not very satisfying since they really couldn't show much of anything thanks to the restrictions of american tv but I am sure all of the people involved in shooting the scene got a raise out of it and afterwards Tom rushed her to his trailer to deeply penetrate - her character of Lois Lane that is of course. In any case you could hear her screams of pleasure all night long.

Erica Durance really provided some of the breast moments on Smallville but I could not find a video of the hot scene below in good quality. Now of course the scene is not as good as it could have been due to the tv censorship and if I had been the director I would have made a few changes. Like getting rid of Erica Durance's top because it makes no sense to operate on her with that thing on. Secondly I would have made the straps restraining her smaller really tiny bordering on the miniscule so that only her nipples would be covered and only barely. And last but not least I would have made the straps see - through so Erica's bountiful boobies are tightly squeezed to the extreme when she's struggling to break free. That would have been a scene to go down in boob tube ( with a big emphasis on the boob part ) history but alas it was not to be.

Apart from her alluring antics on Smallville Erica Durance had a lot of bra scenes on Saving Hope and my reason for bringing all of this up is that I forgot to include her breast moments in all of my previous posts.

she would make a good lois lane spanish weather sexbomb tania estrada

As usual with latin sexbombs I could not find much information about her so I guess she got her tv job the old fashioned way. Speaking of fashioned Tania Estrada has also worked as a model but after an especially taxing after show penetration sensation fuck marathon where an entire football team tried how many dicks they could fit into all her orifices at the same time she decided that it might be time to look for other career options.

So Tania - who worked her way through college as a stripper under the name Carmen Sutra and escort Chu Pamela put on her sexiest outfit and convinced one of her gay friends to tape her audition. And when I say " convinced " I mean that she threatened to fuck him straight which he did not take very serious at first but he quickly changed his mind when she started to deepthroat his brains out and gave the guy a huge erection.

He still tried to resist but Tania started to ride him like a bucking bronco arousing feelings he never had before making him squirt like a fire hose again and again to the last drop until he could not get it up anymore.

After that he was more than ready to tape her audition but what none of them knew was that he was recording over Tania an old sex tape of her ex boyfriend slam - fucking the living daylights out of her like there is no Tomorrow which was ultimately the reason why she broke up with him.

Although her now not so gay anymore friend taped over most of it the last five minutes were still on it where he was pounding her like a cheap asian prostitute who owed him money and those asian sluts can take it.

When Tania showed up at the tv station - wearing a miniscule dress that did not leave anything to the imagination with her giant - sized boobs constantly on the verge of popping out - the guy doing the job interviews had gone through the other candidates. Since she didn't know about the sex tape her credentials included a very explicit picture spreading her legs like a hooker plus a letter of recommendation which read like this :

" Tania Estrada expects me to write a letter of recommendation but I am going to give you some words of advice instead. This big - breasted bitch has no experience whatsoever but she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose and is especially experienced in giving double breasted deepthroat dick massages - I personally made sure of that. During a writers strike she had to work as a fluffer for gay porn actors and she was fired because she got excited and fucked a few of them straight.

Anyway, this whore has no experience on tv but if you put her on the screen in a nice outfit or bikini I can guarantee you that the male audience will rise to astronomical heights after her first program.

So just give her the job and have a great time blowing her back out. A word of advice : be careful if you try to dicktame her because I tried to drill this ultimate sex machine until Tania is my obedient lust slave and I almost wore my dick out on this slut. But that may just be worth it. "

After reading the letter and watching her tape - especially the last five minutes - a few times the guy called in Tania and because the other job interviews were unsatisfactory ( there were quite a few candidates with bigger boobs than Tania Estrada but they all acted up when he tried to fuck them ) he asked her to give him a blowjob. Tania didn't think twice and after some intense deepthroat action until his dick was as hard as unto a thing of iron and three times his normal size he banged Tania.

The very next day Tania Estrada started as the new weather girl and like the letter had predicted the ratings triplicated in the first week alone and kept rising as every male in Mexico was whacking off to her boobies.

Her new boss on the other hand was twice as lucky because not only did his program get higher ratings he also got to live out his most perverted sexual phantasies with born for porn ejaculation sensation Tania on a daily basis for many years. And even if all his attempts to dicktame her only led to him wearing his dick out he was having the time of his life.

A few years after she started working on tv her boss bumped into the juror from her beauty contest at a charity event and thanked him for the explicit letter of recommendation. Because without it he would never had gotten to bang such an incredible living blow up sex doll. Now the other guy was very perplexed because he never did write such letters.

Which might or might not have happened but no matter if it did if her boss is not using his position to Harry Weinstein such an ultimate natural born sperm extractor like Tania Estrada at least three times a day he must be the most stupid male on planet earth. I almost wrote that the only other explanation would be if he was gay but even gay men would not be able to resist the urge to abuse their power over sexy Tania and blackmail her into an all night ejaculation sensation marathon fuck orgy.

Coming back to casting Tania Estrada as Lois Lane with her ultimate pornstar body it would be only natural to take advantage of that and write a storyline where she goes undercover at a strip club to get intel on the gangsters who frequent said establishment as it would be a good opportunity for Tania to show her bonerinducing natural stripper skills.

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viva italia

sabrina salerno

sabrina hypnotized they did her dirty

BORN FOR PORN - PART TWO : SABRINA SALERNO versus FORMEL EINS

Sabrina was mostly known for two things ..... well, actually three things : the twins ( obviously ! ), lots of wardrobe malfunctions of the tiniest outfits that were riding up or wet t - shirts and see - through bikinis .

At the time Sabrina Salerno, the cult siren with the obligatory bouncing action was at the height of her popularity in Germany thanks to her worldwide number 1 smash hit Boys Boys Boys ( which was especially popular in those countries that showed the uncensored version of her video where her tiny bikini top could not contain the singing sexbomb´s huge melons ) and various articles in teen publications like Bravo and Popcorn and nude pictorials in adult men´s magazines like Penthouse.

So they had to invite her to Formel Eins which was the premiere music tv show for german teenagers. The show was a total train wreck, they cut most of the music videos because the network was in Bavaria and they are very catholic and prudish down there. When Sabrina was there as a guest they didn´t play her music video and told her she had to do a live performance. Which was more than they bargained for because Sabrina began to shake rattle and roll her big boobs like there´s no Tomorrow.

Of course they were appalled but they could not do anything against it.

The camera man tried to prevent the worst by doing a lot of close ups and just filming Sabrina´s head but as you can see it didn´t help much.

BORN FOR PORN - PART THREE : A NIPPLE SLIP IN TIME SAVES NINE !

Speaking of Sabrina Salerno's patented bouncing action one of her most famous ones in that regard was her live performance of Boys Boys Boys on the spanish show Un Dos Tres ( from which I am trying to include an episode in each post until I run out of them ) where she really put her breast foot forward shaking her titanic twin tornadoes like a cocktail.

But not only was Sabrina constantly throwing her giant gazongas into the general direction of the camera her already skimpy skirt kept riding up in what would become another signature move for her and while she pulled it down a few times it more likely resembled a belt with her hot panties showing for most of the performance much to the delight of all the male audience members. And while it is not her first appearance on spanish tv like some claim it was a huge PR success for Sabrina Salerno.

But she really got famous through her New Year´s performance in 1988 on spanish tv where she sang HOT GIRL and her breasts got out of control and popped out of her top. In Germany they would have censored it but the spanish tv immediately put it on a loop and kept showing it in slow motion during her entire performance. It is her best known clip ever.

Now I also have a new video about that iconic performance and sorry, this is only for my spanish speaking followers. I always thought this was a live performance but apparently Sabrina's renditions of BOYS BOYS BOYS and HOT GIRL were pre - recorded. Which makes the fact that Sabrina's wardrobe malfunction was emitted without her consent even weirder.

There is one version of the story in which Sabrina and her manager put a stipulation in the contract that the parts with her free jumping funbags could not be shown but they still went on the air during New Year's Eve.

Now according to the video above nobody noticed Sabrina Salerno's top popping boob ( yeah, because nobody pays attention to the tits of such an ultimate breed mare ) besides an assistant who immediately notified the producer of the show in Spain who in turn contacted the manager of Sabrina and showed him pictures of the footage to ask if it was okay to air this. The manager did not notice the nipple slip or did not care and gave the thumbs up. So they tried to eliminate the footage of Sabrina's naked bouncing boobs ( yeah, I bet they tried really hard not to show something that could get them the biggest ratings ever ) but since she was all alone on the stage they could not cut to any dancers. So they did keep it and to add insult to injury they inserted a second frame where they showed her nipple slip in slow motion a few times throughout this.

But regardless of if Sabrina really did not know that her nude breast was going to be shown all over Spain during the biggest show of the year or this was a deliberate publicity stunt by her since she had " accidental " nipple slips throughout her career and had a complete mastery of her entire body so she could pop out her boobs at the drop of a hat and if the producers in Spain really did not notice her nude bouncing action until it was too late or they kept it in on purpodse this was one of the pivotal moments not only in 80s pop music but in spanish history which immediately catapulted Sabrina Salerno into super sex symbol status and shot an entire generation of prepubescent little boys through puberty.

As for Sabrina " Bouncing Action " Salerno, her first cult siren entry was way back in 2014 with annual re - posts in 2015 , 2016 and in 2017 where I tried to do the ultimate version adding better material here and there.

bubbele

Since the video I originally wanted to post from Le Crazy Horse can't be watched on other websites and the one I planned to post instead from the Moulin Rouge has gotten an age restriction since I bookmarked it the only one I can post is the one from Le Lido. Unless that one also gets slapped with an age restriction. Although truth be told, the video from Le Crazy Horse is also not the one I wanted to post initially because that would have been the performance of But ... I Am A Good Girl ( which the Christina Aguilera fans out there might know from the movie Burlesque ) by an unknown men milking machine from a show that was on tv when I was a teenager at just the right age to appreciate her on stage orgasms.

Daimn, that woman was not a moaner, she was a screamer ! I bet a lot of boys were shot right through puberty if they caught her erotic dance by accident. Of course that show is too " vintage " like the kids Today call it so another good version is the boner - inducing performance by Carmen Fiano the fit wet sex dream with legs up to her chin and the elevated pleasure moaning coefficient from the stage show Totally Crazy ! and I found a video that includes not only that but the full show which I am posting here even though I expect it to be gone or get slapped with an age restriction as happens with a lot of the videos from Le Crazy Horse.