Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Goodbye Germany : Legion der Superhelden

Since I have reached a dead end working on my unfinished posts I was thinking why not start another DC Comics post to put between all the Marvel Comics posts I have done lately. And which better subject then one of the best concepts in superhero fiction ever conceived : alien teenagers who can travel through time and space - with super powers.

To be completely honest, this was initially supposed to be a Superman post as I got quite a hankering to put more of those SUPERMAN / BATMAN covers by german publisher Ehapa Verlag on the blog after having to look for some to include in the part about 40C - 25 - 35 bikini cult siren Linda Kozlowski in the bonus section of my RED SONJA / Frank Thorne tribute .

Which was a spin - off from my post about casting hasian 44D - 25 - 35 cosplay blow up sex doll Yaya Han as Lily Lee a.k.a. The Lizard Lady from Will Jacobs and Gerard Jones THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS since I found a lot of RED SONJA artwork by Frank Thorne while working on the feature about 90s ultimate 46E ( !!! ) - 23 - 37 Busenwunder Brigitte Nielsen .

Coming back to Superman, longtime followers of the blog remember that I re - posted Linda Kozlowski's original cult siren entry from 2015 two times not only to show off the fant - ASS - tic ASS - ets she displayed in Crocodile Dundee ( the scene where she reveals her bonerinducing thong bathing suit is the reason why the film is still in reruns as well as being an indispensable part of every heterosexual man's DVD collection ) but also because I could add a few more SUPERMAN / BATMAN covers.

Well, as I have mentioned ad infinitum in previous posts I have to start my picture archive from scratch so I had to go through the files at the DEUTSCHER COMIC GUIDE ( whom I want to give a shoutout because they always come in clutch when I need material at the last minute ) and after I picked the cover it got me thinking why not eliminate the middle man and go straight for the good stuff and just make a Superman post ?

So that was the first idea and since I don't want to repeat the stuff I post I went through a few posts where I knew I had included some of these covers so I could eliminate any redundancies but with 1,296 published posts I could not go through all of them. Anyway, while going through the covers multiple times - for which I have the new laptop to thank for but I already explained the reason for this in a previous post so I won't go into that here - I noticed that there were a lot of covers with THE LEGION OF SUPER - HEROES and since it has been over a year since my KARATE KID VS EVERYONE post and even longer since my reflections on the REFLECTO SAGA ( see what I just did there ? ) I thought it was about time ( pun intended ) to travel exactly 1,000 years into the future - of 1980 that is.

Because that was when most of these stories came out in Germany. Now since those stories came out in different publications - from the already mentioned SUPERMAN / BATMAN issues to SUPERMAN SUPERBAND, the SUPERMAN TASCHENBUCH pocket books and SUPERMAN PRAESENTIERT SUPERBOY it was difficult to put into the right chronological order but I guess that is a problem the Legion has always struggled with. There may be a few covers I have posted before but since I just had to include those sweet George Perez covers for the REFLECTO SAG I hope that my faithful readers will cut me some slack there. And now, to infinity and beyond !

long live the legion

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and Brian Cronin at his always entertaining and education column Comic Book Legends Revealed over at COMIC BOOK RESOURCES examines the rumour if when Jim Shooter introduced Karate Kid ( no relation to the Ralph Macchio movie character and I am talking about the one from the Cobra Kai universe not the Marvel Comics editor either ) he was supposed to be an orphan right from the start or if that was just a snafu and speaking of Karate Kid, he was co - created by the famous - of infamous - Marvel Comics Editor - In - Chief Jim Shooter during his first run as writer of the series at the tender age of only 14 and Jim Shooter also wrote an anti drug issue which is the topic of this instalment of Brian Cronin's series I Love Ya But You're Strange and

as I learned the hard way with power freaks while it may sound cool to be able to say to have been ahead of his times it is not as much fun when it really happens to you as jim shooters new universe was way to revolutionary for the comicbook readers at that time and the idea would be only successful decades later as Marvel's ultimate line of comicbooks

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And for a more traditional version of The Man Of Tomorrow nobody has surpassed Christopher Reeves depiction of both Clark Kent AND Superman in those classic five movies - at least for my money - which have been re - released in a 4K version as Pedro Angosto reports on MAN OF BRONZE .

As somebody who has not yet delved into 4K movies ( at the moment I don't have much time for watching television and if I do I am already too busy with all the stuff I haven't watched yet on amazon prime so watching movies on Blue Ray is not a big priority especially since the remote control for our Blue Ray player apparently got lost during the move to our new location and I would have to buy a new one to watch anything ) so I don't know how much one might get out of this but at the same time I think it is very important to show the younger generations of comicbook readers or just little kids in general what Superman really is supposed to be all about. That is something I feel neither comicbooks nor DC's movies or tv shows have done adequately in the last decades.

For more Superman related stuff there is also a post on the new cartoon series My Adventures With Superman from adult swim ( of which you can watch the first episode on YouTube for free ) and one with the different iterations of Superman's Fortress Of Solitude throughout all the decades including Supreme's Citadel Supreme and the volcano base of Ultiman, Big Bang Comics version of Superman. Speaking of Big Bang Comics they have quite a lot of posts about that publisher : first up there is a post for the 40th anniversary of Big Bang Comics with a link for a free 50 page pdf file, one about the kickstarter for the BIG BIG BANG COMICS treasury edition and also one on the newest issue of THE LAST WHIZ KIDS STORY .

Also check out 20TH CENTURY DANNY BOY for more on the " lost " six page Superman story by Dave Gibbons , Alan Davis , Garry Leach, John Higgins, Paul Neary and Mark Farmer called " Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On " made for Superman's 50th anniversary which never saw print.

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and according to Brian Cronin over at COMIC BOOK RESOURCES Disney plans to introduce a brand new ( sigh ) version of the Sentry which is probably going to be afro - american or part of the LGTBYMCALMAA ( my german readers know what the last four letters stand for ) community or a woman or all of the above damn it's like they ain't even trying anymore and

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Speaking of the shapely things, if the actresses who plays Kim Smedley looks familiar that's because it's the extremely shapely Anne - Marie Martin who appeared in the Tom Selleck sci fi vehicle Runaway and the ill - fated Doctor Strange tv pilot although she is best known as the cast member who could have made a real fortune working the stripper pole and who got one leg up ( although all horny male viewers dreamt of her putting both legs high up ) as Sgt. Dori Doreau, the hardbody of the law with legs almost up to her chin on the hit comedy show Sledge Hammer.

We all dreamed of her assuming the position so we could give her a full cavity search. The canadian blow up sex doll honed her incredible curves as a horse riding world championship contender for America so she is an expert breaking in broncos, taming breeding stallions ( especially those with an insatiable third leg ), natural insemination and dressage riding.

This comes in handy in my favorite episode, Model Dearest in which Dori Doreau goes undercover as a bikini model which thoroughbred stud mare Anne Marie Martin pulls off easily thanks to her bonerinducing bikinibody.

Speaking about wet sex dream Anne - Marie Martin's flawless body, there are sadly only a few episodes where she gets to spotlight it like in the pilot episode where she disarms a perp with an mindblowing high kick exposing her perfectly shaped legs or in episode 12 of the second season called Icebreaker where she has a date with Adam Ant in an incredible strapless black dress. Another one which eluded me for the longest time is one where she and Sledge go to a sauna to interrogate an informant and because of the hot steam their clothes shrink later. Especially Dori Doreau's long skirt turns into a micro skirt revealing Anne - Marie Martin's gorgeous gams. Boy, who said that she has legs for miles wasn't kidding.

But now I finally found it, it's episode 9 of the first season called Magnum Farce which is of course a spoof of the second Dirty Harry movie with Clint Eastwood titled Magnum Force and Anne - Marie Martin's short leg revealing scene is around the six minute mark.

I have mentioned Sledge Hammer - and especially canadian Sexbombe Anne - Marie Martin - a few times on the blog over the years but newer blog visitors might want to check out my latest Bill Ward tribute post where you can not only find an episode of Ayer Nomas about the show but also more stuff about the Sledge Hammer comic by Marvel Comics.

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From scary science we come to weird science, the movie that is, which had a really stacked cast - in the case of Kelly LeBrock literally stacked - that includes Anthony Michael Hall, Bill Paxton and Robert Downey Jr.

Besides WEIRD SCIENCE Kelly Le Brock is best known for THE WOMAN IN RED - which was a remake and not as good as the original french movie - but she was also in HARD TO KILL with Steven Seagal back when you could still watch Steven Seagal movies. What I don´t know is if Kelly had to grant Steven sexual favours like some of his other female co - stars .

Now in the past I wrote that the movie is not based on an actual story from the WEIRD SCIENCE comicbook or any of the other publications from Bill Gaines EC Comics company but according to the wikipedia entry it is based on the story Made Of The Future from the fifth issue.

The reason why I thought for such a long time that the movie was not based on an actual story was that it technically isn't. I mean, officially it is because that story gave Joel Silver the idea for the movie but there is not much left in the 1985 movie that remains from the original story.

Made Of The Future published in 1951 is about a guy who gets dumped by his fiancee and accidentally happens upon a tourist group of time travellers from the far away year of 2150 at the Rockefeller Center.

With his curiosity piqued he decides to go with them to the future and while he takes in the sights of the year 2150 he discovers a company where you can buy a kit to build your own perfect wife. After returning to his proper time he uses this kit and wouldn't you know it he manages to build the perfect wife. Like the bad guy in the episode Model Dearest of Sledge Hammer said : " She will be a wife AND mistress. " Our happy guy is over the moon and can't stop showing off his trophy wife but alas things can never end well in these stories and one day he comes home to discover a note that his wife went to take a tour of the Rockefeller Center where she apparently met up with another tourist group from 2150 and decided to go back to the future. Since then our devastated hero has been trying in vain to find one of these tourist groups again.

Now in one of these strange coincidences that happens in comicbooks the hero of the story is called Alvin Blank and it was published 23 years before the first issue of Jack Kirby's OMAC - ONE MAN ARMY CORPS in which Buddy Blank lives in the near future of 1974 and he works in a factory that builds artificial lovers for lonely men and women. The story Made Of The Future is never mentioned in any of the many books about Jack Kirby but you have to wonder if he drew some inspiration from this.

Anyway, you can find the full story Made From The Future - as well as the complete original artwork - in my Al Feldstein Halloween spotlight post from October of 2022 ( which is 7 years after the story and we still don't have those kits to build your perfect wife ) and maybe it is just me but the story of a guy who brings back technology to make the perfect living blow up sex doll sound nothing like the plot of the movie where two guys use their scientific knowledge of current times to do the same.

Another reason why I never connected both stories - and I have to add that I did not know the story Made From The Future back then - is that there are several EC stories by EC Comics where a guy is trying to find the perfect woman ( which always ends with some kind of plot twist like the woman comes from an alien race that are all giants so they can't have sex ) but the endgame there is always finding the perfect woman instead of trying to use her knowledge to score with another woman.

I mean, why go through the trouble of creating a perfect woman in the first place when you are then trying to get it on with another woman ?

If that is what you want then you have to come up with a plan to woo that woman from the start instead of putting so much time and effort into making a perfect men milking machine that you are just going to ignore except in ways that help you win the other woman. Who is not the perfect woman by any means. But the one you created is because not only was she literally built according to your dream measurements and sexual preferences you also programmed this binary Busenwunder to be the ultimate deepthroating sexmachine - in every sense of the word.

You have to question if the producers forced the director to make the movie more apt for the whole family since it starts out like the premise of a porn flick - two horny and undersexed nerds use their computer knowledge to build the perfect breedmare for a penetration sensation weekend - but ends with less sex than your average screwball comedy from the 80s. I mean they don't even have any full frontal Kelly nudity.


And you know that if I would have been the director of Weird Science it would have gone in a different direction. It will probably not surprise my longtime followers that I would cast my number one wet sex fantasy of all times, a.k.a. the best body in showbiz, Janet " All Night - Don´t Stop " Action Jackson - the living nubian blow up sex doll that walks like a prostitute - ( who has three solo posts on the blog plus three entries in my Justice League cast ) as the blueprint for ultimate sexbot L.I.S.A. ( although we would change her name to J.A.N.E.T. for Juicy Artificial Nymphomaniac equipped with Extreme sexual deepthroatingTechniques ) who not only is a well known blowjob sex nymfomaniac who dicktamed Justin Timberlake and confessed to be addicted to testing out sex toys - especially XXL double dildos - but it´s also an open secret that the afro - american aphrodite insists on inspecting all new employees - orally .

There are rumors that one of her video shoots turned into a sex orgy with half a dozen of her male dancers but there is no proof and if there is any footage of the squirt marathon it is under lock and key. There are however two very different versions of the incident. There are sources connected to Janet who say the dancers were turned on by Janet during the previous rehearsal and couldn´t help themselves so they took a huge viagra overdose and took turns pumping the nubian nympho's porn body.

Other sources connected to the defense of the dancers claim that it was Janet who spiked the dancers drinks with a viagra overdose so she could use them like breeding stallions - not caring that half of them were gay and would not have sex with a woman under normal circumstances. And once Janet had manged to get their giant monstercocks hard like unto a thing of iron and three times as big as normal so they looked like a third leg thanks to her superior deepthroat skills things got out of hand fast.

It´s no secret that Janet Jackson was predestined to play a stripper not only because of her incredibly fit and flexible pornstar hardbody which could have earned her a fortune as one of the biggest super stars in the adult entertainment industry but also because she has some incredible stripper moves that make real striptease pros envious . Which nasty Miss Jackson more than proved in Jermaine Dupri´s music video Gotta Getcha where Janet plays one extremely busty stripper dressed up as a school girl or teacher. I don´t know if it explicitly said " busty stripper " but with her huge DD melons it´s the only kind Janet can believably portray.

I always knew that Janet was a sex freak ( Janet admitted to joining the Mile High Club and is a well known size queen ) and although the rumors that Bobby Brown banged her in the 1980s might not be true it is more believable that she used Justin Timberlake as her sextoy and dumped him after a month of steamy sex marathons . According to Justin it took Janet an hour to get in my pants after we first hooked up and she was so wild in bed that I didn´t know how to handle it. I was falling in love with Janet but during our get - togethers she only wanted to have sex.

I don´t think of myself as sexy but I am a very sexual being, I always have sex on my mind. I feel comfortable with it and I think it´s great if a guy has a good sized package. I know the effect my body has on guys so I sometimes use it to get well hung guys into my bedroom where I tie them to the bed and slambang their brains out in a marathon sex orgy.

I go completely crazy and make them squirt again and again until they are completely drained. I regret it but I´ll turn around and do it again.

Man, now that she´s divorced all the horny perverts around the world are hoping to dicktame this ASSential afro - american aphrodite six ways to Sunday. But they will only be used by oral addict Janet as personal sex toys since she has a lot of pent up sexual energy and will go on a sperm extraction spree, massaging huge monstercocks with her giant boobs, deepthroating schlongs left and right until they squirt buckets like crazy.

And speaking of competing in the midnight olympics with ultimate sex goddess Janet Jackson, in my movie the two nerds would not be stupid enough to make a superior woman with unlimited magic powers without including a failsafe that forces her to obey their every sexual wish. And of course their first course of action would be to do a thorough test drive during the next few days and as is the rule they would tape the entire squirt sensation sexperiment - for scientific purposes only of course.

Anyway, the movie would spend more time with the guys having fun with Janet than with them trying to get it on with other girls who are not in the same league as her. I can't wrap my head around that strange idea.

What I do kind of get is that the whole thing with trying to score with the other girls is initially started by the artificial woman those two guys create because she sees where the train is heading and she has no desire to become the cybernetic blow up sex doll they wear their schlongs out with since they have years of pent up sexual frustration to work through.

So she sets them on another path to keep them occupied ( also they probably didn´t measure up ) and because she gets hornier than an alley cat in heat she does it with the whole sports class. Or whatever the scene where she appears as the new head coach is supposed to mean.

One last thing about Weird Science : while I didn´t care much for the movie I have to acknowledge that without it there would have not been a tv show and I was a big fan. Plus ultimate 38C - 25 - 35 sexbomb Vanessa Angel helped me make it through some really difficult times.

With her comedic skills and killer measurements I always wondered why Va - va - va - voom - Vanessa didn´t have a bigger career in Hollywood.

And I have written more about her and natural born 34 - 25 - 36 stripper Lorri Bagley in Kingpin in my post about Mike Allred´s PREZ issue of Neil Gaiman´s SANDMAN ( although a lot of the videos have been deleted ).

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people tell me that nobody buys physical copies anymore but if there are some among the german readers I have left

At the moment my EC Comics library is extremely limited : besides the spanish edition of the first volume of Weird Science I only have the EC Covers Artist Edition, the EC Comics sampler Choke Gasp ! The Best Of 75 Years Of EC Comics and the reprints of Tales From The Crypt, The Vault Of Horror and The Haunt Of Fear that I used to pad out the boxes when I shipped some comics I could not sell to Spain which I can't bring myself to throw away no matter how beat up and battered they may be.

As a big fan of EC Comics I´ve done a number of posts on the subject : I did a special black and white tribute post to William Gaines in 2017 with two full stories, one by Johnny Craig and one by George Evans, in 2018 I did two posts, one for the horror books and one for the other titles EC published and I also did special spotlight posts for Jack Davis and a black and white post with the complete original artwork of the story And All Throughout The House by Johnny Craig from THE VAULT OF HORROR 35.

I didn´t write any EC Comics posts in 2019 but in 2020 I wrote a post in honor of the late William Gaines with stories by Johnny Craig, Graham " Ghastly " Ingels and Joe Orlando - who got a spotlight post - as well as one in tribute to the late Bernie Krigstein and two about Johnny Craig .

And back in March 2021 we had the obligatory William Gaines tribute .

Besides publishing the best comic in the genre of horror, science fiction, war, crime fiction and many others ( which every comic fan or comic book creator worth his salt needs to read to understand what you can do within the medium ) he also created a whole new genre with the creation of Mad magazine when his competitors, censorship and the Comics Code Authority forced him to cancel his most successful titles.

One of the artists who got the famous MAD Magazine off the ground and running with Harvey Kurtzman was Will Elder and if you are interested in comic history, good satire comic magazines or just good art you should check out those early issues - you can read my spotlight post on him .

Now besides being a master at cartooning and bringing slapstick humor to the printed page Will Elder was very adept at depicting the female form which probably was a very big factor in MAD´s rise in popularity.

Will Elder´s faible for drawing sexy women was also the reason why Harvey Kutzman chose him to bring one of his most famous creations to life : PLAYBOY´s LITTLE ANNIE FANNYa spoof on LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE.

who would be great as little annie fanny - or supergirl with her adult body

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Besides revolutionizing horror John Carpenter also jumpstarted the movie career of JaMILF Lee Curtis who quickly became famous for her impressive set of lungs as one of Hollywood´s premiere scream queens.


She later became quite literal famous for her impressive set of lungs as her boobs busted out and she quickly got the nickname " freezeframe " because her hot scenes in movies like Trading Places or Perfect became the most paused on the vcr thanks to her 34C - 22 - 34 measurements.

Today she´s best known for her incredibly hot striptease in True Lies, the best striptease in movie history - at least according to a poll from 2007.

Which is all the more impressive if you keep in mind that Jamie Lee Curtis was 36 at the time. So she did her best movie scene when her body was in remarkable shape - she exercised every day for this - and I cannot even begin to imagine how epic it would have been if she hadn´t kept on her underwear and gone full monty frontal nudity in the movie.

Because James Cameron had seen her in A Fish Called Wanda and wrote the role of Helen Trasker specifically to see her naked porn star body.

GET A GRIP ON JAMILF LEE´S COCONUTS / THE TAMER OF PANAMA !

JaMILF Lee Curtis has always spurred the sexual imagination of her on screen partners like with old horn dog Pierce Brosnan who got more than a good handful of her massive milkshakes when he squeezed her perfect puppies in The Tailor of PanamaThe scene was not in the original script but Pierce just couldn´t let an opportunity to fondle Jamie´s juicy juggs pass and so he manhandled her titanic 38C twin torpedoes in every take.

After two days of shooting the scene Jamie´s mouthwatering XXL melons were so sensitive from Pierce´s constant massage that she climaxed with the slightest touch. So she agreed to let Pierce use her as his personal blow up sex doll for the remainder of the shooting if he stopped botching the takes and then the director decided to leave the scene in the movie.

I have already done a number of posts on JaMILF Lee Curtis : the original post which mostly contains pictures with links to animated GIFs , one with all the pictures I could find , a re - posted version with a few GIFs added and the post I did on her in 2016 with a lot of spectacular GIFs.

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