Sunday, February 25, 2024

It's a Surprise Sunday with Captain Marvel !

Again posts lead to other posts which leads to even more posts. After my work on my newest tribute post for mexican telenovela booty queen Aylin Mujica and the bonus post were seriously sabotaged by YouTube deleting all the episodes of Marina ( so I hope you watched them while they still were up ) - which was the main reason why I made those posts in the first place - I had to completely overhaul these posts ( thankfully I included enough material from mexican adult magazine EL MIL CHISTES in the bonus post so that it could stand on its own ) plus my Weissblech Comics tribute post ( which is where the whole thing started ) so there were not that many new posts ( plus I just had to replace a dozen films that have been deleted which got rid of quite a few good ones but on a positive side MOM AND DAD SAVE THE WORLD and THE FIFTH ELEMENT are back and we can welcome THE SUBSTITUTE with Tom Berenger ) but while I was working on the bonus section of my post about the forgotten pre Captain Marvel Miss Marvel Carol Danvers ( which was a spin - off from my DAZZLER post ) the part about the one true real female Captain Marvel - Monica Rambeau - got longer and longer and the more work I put in the more I realized how much I love AVENGERS 227 and that it would be a real shame to bury it all in the bonus section of another post.

I have one more link to add before wrapping the whole Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel instead of Miss Marvel thing up since our good pal Brian Cronin has a new entry in his Comic Book Dictionary series over at COMIC BOOK RESOURCES called Monica Rambeau And The Benefits Of Chronical Privilege where he tries to explain the fact that Carol Danvers got a lot of backlash when she was presented as the newest female and bestest Captain Marvel ever while Monica Rambeau never got the same reaction.

He mentions that there are a lot of cases where BIPOC characters have usurped the mantle of longstanding caucasian white male characters who got a lot of backlash from longtime comicbook readers and that - again - this was not the case with Monica Rambeau. BUT then Brian completely misses the point and goes on a rant about what he calls " chronical privilege " that is complete bs. Now before we get any further I have to explain one thing. Two things if you are a guy like me who is not in the loop with acronyms the media uses to marginalize people.

Because then you are going " What the heck is BIPOC ? Sounds like a disease. " but it's not. It is a new term to separate even more people from caucasian white guys by calling them Black or Indigenous or People Of Color instead of specifying about which part of non white people you are talking. First of all I find it very telling that even with the need to coin a new term to unite all people who are oppressed by whitey black people are still mentioned first instead of just being included in the part of people of color. All people in this acronym are oppressed but black people are even more oppressed by them than the other people of color.

Second why can't the cancel pigs just say " everybody who is not white but including white people as soon as they belong to an indigenous tribe " if that is clearly what they want to say here. Second what the frikk is " chronal privilege " ? That sounds just like a very fancy way of not saying " nostalgia " because that old argument has been debunked ad infinitum.

Well, Brian's theory here is that people react differently to things that happened BEFORE they started reading comics than things that happen WHILE they are reading comics. So because Monica Rambeau became Captain Marvel BEFORE a lot of people started reading comicbooks and was Captain Marvel and a member of the Avengers already WHILE they were reading comicbooks they don't feel she usurped the mantle of Captain Marvel and thus they are okay with her. And that's why she gets a hall pass. Which is a nice theory but of course it is completely bogus.

According to that theory Monica could never be one of my favourite Avengers. Because while Mar - Vell was the first Captain Marvel BEFORE I started reading comics he still was the only Captain Marvel ( at least in the Marvel universe we also had the original Billy Batson Captain Marvel at Fawcett Comics ) WHILE I began my comicbook journey. As longtime followers of the blog know I am a huge Gene Colan fan no matter if he was drawing THE TOMB OF DRACULA written by Marv Wolfman and inked by Tom Palmer or DAREDEVIL or DOCTOR STRANGE and he was the first artist on CAPTAIN MARVEL. Which I read in the german translations.

Later on there were other great creators on the title like Gil Kane who changed his old costume to the iconic 70s version and they also paid homage to the Billy Batson Captain Marvel by having him switch places with Rick Jones. Captain Marvel was also in a few very iconic stories like when Thanos made him old and decrepit but he managed to shatter the cosmic cube Thanos was using and so defeated Thanos and got young again or when Thanos killed Adam Warlock to get his soul gem so he could use it and a few other infinity gems ( the term infinity stones was invented much later ) to conquer the universe and the Avengers and all of the heroes of Earth had to team up to stop him but in the end it was Spider - Man and Adam Warlock who returned from death who saved the day or in the graphic novel The Death Of Captain Marvel by Jim Starlin .

There are just decades of great lore with Captain Mar - Vell. Which I loved. So according to Brian Cronin I should have shipped MY Captain Marvel instead of liking this new Captain Marvel who not only was female but also black. And you can read my post on her first appearance here .

So why do people like me like Monica Rambeau instead of complaining that she is stealing Mar - Vell's thunder ? I can't speak for everybody but my first introduction was NOT her first appearance but rather issue 227 of AVENGERS and I have to put things into perspective for my readers.

Back then I was still living in Germany and we didn't get many american comicbooks especially in the small town where I lived. Now as I have recounted many times I had the luck to go to school in the next big city Ludwigsburg for which I had to use public transportation and at the big bus stop at the city hall there was a newsstand where you could buy all kinds of stuff from beverages to tobacco, pulp magazines, magazines like PLAYBOY, regular magazines, books, pocket books and even comicbooks.

Normally just the usual comicbooks that you would get at newsstands, paper shops or Mom and Pop shops but one day they also had american comicbooks. As some of my readers from the US may know there were many american soldiers stationed in Germany at that time because of the cold war and naturally a lot of these G.I.s read comicbooks and so sometimes the comics found their way to regular german newsstands.

Not that many compared to the output of german comicbooks but we were young and desperate and hungry for anything new so that we snatched up the few US comics very quickly. Well, one of those comics was AVENGERS 227 and it was one of those issues in - between all the regular big storyline that nobody seems to be able to write nowadays.

Today everybody is writing for the trade and focusing on the big story arc - when they are not busy contemplating if gay Iceman would be the top or bottom half of the gay Iceman / Hercules couple - so they have no time to let the characters breathe. Anyway, the issue is written by Roger Stern, penciled by Sal Buscema ( my favourite HULK artist especially with Ernie Chan ) and inked by Brett Breeding who also does the cover.

And while we have a complete recap ( no pun intended ) of Hank Pym's career as an Avenger up to the point where he landed in jail ( which is where he is in this issue ) plus Hawkeye struggling with the influx of new and mostly female new members, Tony Stark feeling bad about how he used the Wasp Janet Van Dine as his blow up sex doll while her husband was in jail before telling her that he was Iron Man , She Hulk ( who has a fun and interesting character in this instead of a conceited alcoholic who blames men for all the trouble she does not have as a successful attorney and member of the Avengers ) contemplate job offers and the Wasp having dinner with Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Girl ( John Byrne would later change her name to the Invisible Woman ) the book opens with Captain Marvel giving a demonstration of her powers and Janet Van Dyne inviting Monica to become a member of the Avengers.

Which she doesn't take for granted like Today's toxic feminist super heroines would do plus unlike modern women she doesn't discard men just because they are male so one of the first things she does is watch the records of the Avengers on the first Captain Marvel. Which is not a name she herself chose by the way but what other people start calling her. And when she found out that somebody else had used the name of Captain Marvel before her and died just recently she also didn't make any snide remarks about good riddance of toxic masculinity. So I guess that I like Monica Rambeau because she was an interesting empathic character that was well written and it felt like she was a good addition to the Avengers because she was not only there to further some agenda.

So while Brian Cronin lays the blame for the failure of Carol Danvers Captain Marvel not connecting with readers like Monica Rambeau did solely on this ill - advised version of nostalgia I think that it is just a case of bad writing. Speaking of which I find it interesting how much Roger Stern managed to cram into one issue when in Today's comic industry it would take up an entire six issue arc. Hank Pym's backstory alone would take up at least two issues. Anyway, I think I have made my point clear ( if there is anybody left reading my ramblings at this point ) and you can find more on Roger Stern's AVENGERS and Monica Rambeau in my Top Ten John Buscema AVENGERS covers series which I hope to continue someday.

But that may be very far off since I not only lost all of my old picture archive I also have no idea which ones were the remaining 3 AVENGERS covers I was saving for the next posts. And yes, if you have checked out that series of posts you might have noticed that the first one is about the top ten John Buscema covers, then the top five and then the top four as I kept working my way through the list ( and covering less and less covers as the series kept progressing ) until only three remained.

As longtime followers of  TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN know I am a huge fan of John Buscema's second run on AVENGERS with inker Tom Palmer and so far I have covered the INFERNO tie - ins especially the 300th anniversary issue which took me three attempts until I finally nailed it .

The other BIG storyline I have waxed philosophic about is ASSAULT ON OLYMPUS - of which I had the hardcover - in which Zeus declares war on the Avengers because of the injuries Hercules ( who at that point was neither bi - sexual nor gay, thank the gods ) and earth's mightiest heroes have to go toe to toe against the greek gods. I wrote about this free - for - all slobberknocker mostly in two spotlights about writer Roger Stern but also in one of my - then - usual bonus section bits turned spin - off posts . Another big storyline from Roger Stern's AVENGERS run I was hoping to revisit was of course the elephant in the room UNDER SIEGE which is only one of the best if not THE best Avengers story of all times.

So far I have just about enough original artwork for another post on John Buscema's second AVENGERS run but it will not be UNDER SIEGE exclusive and we will probably also go over Walter Simonson's short stint on the title which he would later revisit during his fabulous run on FANTASTIC FOUR. Of which I luckily got the Artist Edition at amazon Spain with a nice discount since those prices are completely out of hand nowadays.

But since I already wrote about that topic at length in previous posts I won't get into that now. Back to Walter Simonson's run on FANTASTIC FOUR I stated in previous posts that he wrote the first part of that story during his stint on AVENGERS which may give some readers the false impression that it was all part of some grand design. That is not what happened. When Walter Simonson was brought in after Roger Stern left the book his mission was to break up the Avengers so they could have the re - assemblage after the INFERNO crossover just in time for issue 300.

So that's what he did and there were no plans to continue that story.

That is until Walter Simonson was asked to take over FANTASTIC FOUR - writing and drawing this time - and decided to use some of the dangling plot points from his time on the AVENGERS. Anyway, coming to the point of this long ramble the Avenger Walter Simonson used to break up the Avengers was Doctor Druid, a recent addition to the team's roster in the aftermath of UNDER SIEGE and because of that he was always clashing with Captain Marvel Monica Rambeau - who at that time had become the Avenger's second female team leader after Janet Van Dyne a. k. a. The Wasp - until he managed to mind control her to give up the leadership.

While Doctor Druid has - somewhat - redeemed himself after that it is the biggest blemish on his career as a superhero and Avenger and the sole reason that most comic readers, afficionados and critics consider him as the worst Avenger ever even surpassing the Swordsman and that's saying something. For those who cannot wait until I can cover this period in the Avenger's history you can get all the juicy details of Doctor Druids rise and fall from grace in this instalment of Brian Cronin's Beg Steal Or Borrow at COMIC BOOK RESOURCES and you also might check out my top five and four John Buscema AVENGERS covers posts where I do a deep dive into the history - and also very racist origin story - of Doctor Druid.

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Speasking of Brian Cronin's articles on COMIC BOOK RESOURCES, for a long time Monica Rambeau lay in comicbook limbo because nobody knew what to do with her until writer Warren Ellis and artist Stuart Immomen used her as one of the team members of they superhero spoof Nextwave : Agents of H. A. T, E. ( longtime followers may remember that I wrote a lengthy but somewhat confused review of the book back in 2006 ) and Brian has an article that explains what the series was all about and how it fit into Marvel continuity. There is also a second one that goes into the problems of having the stories take place in an alternate universe like when it was revealed that the Machine Man on their roster was not the original X - 51 Machine Man ( who was first introduced into the Marvel universe in Jack Kirby's comicbook adaption / continuation of Stanley Kubrik's 1968 cineastic masterpiece 2001 : A Space Oddyssey ) since the original Machine Man had left earth with the Celestials. Things got even more complicated when the original Aaron Stack X - 51 Machine Man returned but writers were still using the Machine Man imposter from the Nextwave series. Which - by the way - has my utmost recommendation.

If you want a break from all the rainbow coming out of heroes and the constant pandering to a demographic that neither like nor buys comics, heroes sitting around while eating food and talking about their sexual preferences if they are not too busy patting themselves on the back for their life choices, stories that read like bad fan fiction and art that is below what you find in the cheapest fan magazines give this a chance.

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movie clip version

What surprised me is that this video does not have an age restriction since YouTube is usually very strict about showing naked boobs and this does not only have italian 40D - 24 - 36 sex symbol Sabrina " Bouncing ActionSalerno's famous nipple slip on spanish tv on New Year's Eve 1988 ( you can read more about that in my post on Bill Mantlo's CROSSROADS saga ) but also ultimate 80s 35C - 25 - 35 wet sex dream Phoebe Cates famous topless scene from Fast Times At Ridgemont High ( although her nude scenes in Paradise were more explicit ) plus living 38B - 24 - 33 blow up sex doll Joyce Hyser's boob flash from Just One Of The Guys.


THE POINT OF FLASHING : A JOYCE THAT MADE MOVIE HISTORY !

And to think she almost didn´t do it. Joyce had a no nudity clause in her contract and was against showing her wonder twins especially after a female friend told her : " Honey, WITH THOSE BREASTS if you GO TOPLESS in that scene, NO ONE you meet will EVER look you INTO YOUR EYES again ." Thankfully Joyce Hyser shot the scene showing her breasts and without showing them and in the end decided the scene did not work if she didn´t go topless. This is what I call " poetry in motion ".

So the thanks of an entire generation of hormone driven boys is yours for logic winning over superstition. Or naked breasts winning over whatever.

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same outfit no blooper daimn that short short skirt though

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ONCE YOU HAD BLACK YOU NEVER GO BACK or FRESH TITS OF BEL AIR

Of course he is best known from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air where he got to star alongside afro american 40C - 22 - 35 aphrodite Tatyana Ali.


She played Ashley Banks and was a big part of that show´s success and continued appeal around the world ( there are only a few people who can´t recite the title song in their sleep ) as she grew from a cute little girl into an incredible teenage sexmachine in front of the entire planet.


Much to the chagrin of the show´s producers she really bOObed all out in movie appearances like The Clown at Midnight or Fall Into Darkness.

Now Will Smith has gone on record that the relationship between him and the insanely do - able Tatyana Ali has always been like between a big brother and his little sister but I don´t believe he never put Tatyana's blooming and booming tireless teenage body to the test not even once.

Either that or the relationship between a big brother and his little sister and what happens between them at night behind bedroom doors ( or in the shower during the day ) is a lot different where Will Smith grew up.


To tell the truth if I would have been in Will Smith´s position I would have relentlessly tamed Tatyana Ali in all the positions especially if we felt like brother and sister but we were not related. Heck, I probably would have tapped that even if she had been my real sister. It must be one of the most incredible displays of willpower ( no pun intended but that would be a great title for an autobiography ) that he didn´t pound her blossoming teenage porn body into submission six ways to Sunday.

Daimn, nubian wet sex dream Tatyana Ali definitely has one of the best all natural ( ! ) racks in Hollywood and she still looks absolutely terrific.


The only other explanation for not using Tatyana Ali as his personal blow up sex doll during every break until she became his willing sex slave is that whenever Tatyana got Will hard enough to cut a diamond he vented his pent up sexual energy on one of the other blow up sex dolls on set.

Like buxom dicktamer Yunoka Doyle who played Ashley Banks´ early blooming bosom buddy Keesha - with a big emphasis on the bosom part - and probably spent the rest of the day after everybody else had left screaming at the top of her huge lungs as Will banged her brains out.

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Pirates was the movie debut of cult siren Charlotte Lewis who got the part through an intense casting couch sex marathon with director Roman Polanski who was so mesmerized by Charlotte's exotic look which she owes to her mixed english, irish, iraqi and chilean heritage as well as her bonerinducing - all natural - 38C - 23 - 34 measurements that he dick - tamed her all night long and kept banging her brains out six ways to Sunday on a daily basis until six months after the shooting of the movie.


Now it is not quite clear which degrading sex techniques Charlotte Lewis had to use to get the part and through how many positions she had to go to milk him dry till the last drop until he could not get it up anymore or even if Polanski really sexually assaulted her at the age of 16 during said seemingly endless casting couch penetration sensation blowjob bonanza.


Because while Charlotte initially had stated in an interview in 1999 that she had been Polanski's girlfriend for six months after the shooting of Pirates had ended and that she had been sexually active from age 14 on ( at least we know this part is true but more about that later ) she later recanted on the 14th of May in 2010 and claimed that he used her like a cheap blow up sex doll during her casting couch audition against her will and she was only 16 years old at that time. To make things even more confusing she later gave an interview in which Charlotte stated that she seduced Roman Polanski and that they did not have sex until she was 17.

Now as usual I don't pretend to know what really happened here and there is a lot of " he said she said " involved. And I am not taking Roman Polanski's side in this but Charlotte Lewis herself recognized that she already had a very well developed body at the young age of 14 ( which would lead her into big trouble along the way ) and that she had the body of a fully grown pornstar when she went to audition for Pirates.


I mean, it is pretty obvious since her huge boobs are completely out of control and on the verge of jumping out of her cleavage ( which has completely lost all hope of containing her giant - sized double airbags in any way ) in every scene she is in although that sadly never did happen.

Or if it did they cut it from the movie and the material is safely tucked away in Roman Polanski's secret safe for his personal recreational use.

But before we go any further let's add another wrinkle to it, namely that when Charlotte made her accusations of being sexually assaulted she didn't tell anyone that before that happened she slept with men for money and was basically a callgirl that went from hooker to Hollywood.


When Charlotte was still at Bishop Douglas Catholic Secondary School in Finchley, north London she had already a more developed body then her classmates at the young age of14 ( much to the delight of her horny male classmates who couldn't stop drooling all over her and dragged her to a secluded part of the school yard where they would fondle her big breasts as well as to the chagrin of her female classmates who made fun of her big boobs but very soon started to hate her because she gained - quite unintentionally - the attention of all males in school - including teachers and principal ) so she could get her way with guys as early on.


She then went right to a rebellious phase when she learned that she could get access to any club if she deepthroated the bouncer's dick into submission so Charlotte learned to drain even the biggest horsecocks and she learned good and she learned fast and before you knew it she was a world class expert at oral sex that she could have given even seasoned phillipino hookers some lessons. Now you might argue that just because she used her natural born blowjob skills to get access to a club doesn't make her a slut since most women do that. Maybe not at such a young age and not to such an extent but we are trying not to be judgemental.


And I'm not saying that being able to completely wear a dick out just with her mouth makes her a prostitute ( not that there is anything wrong with that ). But I want to paint the full picture here and besides alcohol Charlotte also took copious amounts of marijuana and LSD when she went clubbing to the point where she woke up and found a pile of 50 pound notes next to her bed. And while she had no recollection of what happened during the night she knew what must have transpired when she felt her sore back, saw the marks where they had handcuffed her to the bedposts and she was so physically exhausted she could barely walk.


The thought of what her horny customers did with her throughout the night made her sick but the older guy who left her didn't know that it was her first time and since he had a really good time he just assumed that she was a seasoned vice girl who had been trained for many years to pump a dick dry so expertly. Anyway, Charlotte insists that she had no idea that would happen and that she was drugged by an older women whom she thought was her friend but now she realized that she had be grooming Charlotte as a sex toy for perverts to feed her own drug habit.


Which is the point where any other women might pull the brakes on all that partying, drinking and drug abuse yet even after that realization Charlotte entertained a succession of older men through what she calls her lost summer of 1982 and she herself admitted that she lost count of how many men had sex with her for money as her so - called friend took her clubbing and then got her high enough for dozens of men to use her like a blow up sex doll because with her exotic looks and her tireless teenage hardbody the guys where standing in line to bang her brains out.


They just couldn't get enough of her and Charlotte has admitted that when they were not taking turns pounding her into submission they ganged up four, five and even six guys at a time drilling her into every orifice of her body to dicktame her as their new sex toy. But the worst was when they could not decide who got to use which hole and they ended up trying to penetrate the same hole at the same time stretching her out more and mor and making bets who could make her scream the loudest. Naturally she never got into more details about that but in one of her interviews she let slip that you should never bet against black.


But even the most enduring men milking machines like Charlotte Lewis has her breaking point and her wakeup call came when the so - called female friend who had been whoring her out to every sex offender in training she could find took her to an apartment with a dozen of rich arabs who laid thousands of pounds on the table and told her that she could have it all if she agreed to go to Saudi Arabia with all of them.

While Charlotte initially did not understand why they would give her all that money just for going to Saudi Arabia with them the penny finally dropped when her so - called friend told her that if she went there she had to grow up quickly. And when Charlotte saw that all the guys were drooling and looking at her like a piece of meat she knew that she had to get out immediately or they would kidnap her, smuggle her out of the country and tie her to a bed in a soundproof room where they would slam - bang her 24 / 7 until turning her into their obedient sex slave.

She immediately ran and all the guys were chasing her like the devil chases poor innocent souls but thankfully she managed to escape. All of this is not to say that just because Charlotte did let men take advantage of her in the past it means that she deserved or wanted to get sexually assaulted during her casting couch audition for Pirates - even if she let a lot of men use and abuse her like a prostitute and for a ridiculously long period of time. But it also is not like she was a delicate innocent flower either. She has been around the block and quite a few times. Again, I am not saying that because of her incredible pornstar body and attending a casting couch audition in the first place it automatically gives consent to every sexual practice. But there are so many contradictory facts coming together for me to make a qualified decision going one way or the other.


Coming back to more reliable facts Charlotte Lewis followed her debut in Pirates with the female lead in The Golden Child alongside Eddie Murphy ( who helped her get on her feet again when she found herself completely broke ) the same year. With her stunning physique is is also no wonder that Shape magazine selected her as one of the nine best bodies of the 1990s and she appeared on the front cover of PLAYBOY magazine -  as well as naked inside - in July of 1993. On top of that in 1996 Celebrity Sleuth ranked her as number seven of the sexiest women of that year and Charlotte has dated Warren Beatty, Mickey Rourke, Eric Clapton, Michael Hutchence, Mick Jagger, Jim Carrey and Charlie Sheen.

While Pirates and especially The Golden Child are the movies Charlotte Lewis is best known for she also appeared in Excessive Force The Glass Cage Men Of War Storyville Dial Help and on the small screen in the obligatory episode of Red Shoe Diaries amongst a plethora of other stuff.

Now longtime followers of the blog are aware that she starred alongside repentant all natural 42C - 23 - 36 born for porn actress Alyssa Milano in Embrace Of The Vampire where she had first a lesbian sex scene with Alyssa and then an uninhibited three - way orgy scene with Alyssa and the more than lucky stiff who gets to play her boyfriend in the movie.

Sexbomb Alyssa Milano ( who got two entries on this blog, the main post and the bonus round with her best episodes on CHARMED ) is of course best known as the most charming, sexiest and all around greatest of all the Halliwell witches, Phoebe Halliwell on the cult tv show Charmed.


According to some interviews she gave later she wasn´t so keen on some of the sexy outfits but Alyssa was the main reason why guys watched the show, it was all to see her shaking her hips as a sultry belly dancer or an almost naked mermaid. Also Alyssa was busy dicktaming male co - stars Julian McMahon and Brian Krause to be her personal breeding stallions.

Which in the first case was extremely difficult for her despite having a body like a Playmate Of The Century because at that time Julian was slam - banging 42C - 24 - 34 blow up sex doll Shannen Doherty's beverly hills six ways to Sunday. So he did his best to resist Alyssa's charms ( pun intended ) but once Shannen was out of the picture it was open season on Julian for Alyssa which is why she wore less and less clothing in her scenes with him and got more full body contact. Especially in the hot lapdance scene - which Alyssa insisted on putting in the script - and she kept botching the takes on purpose so he would have a huge erection.


Then when everybody left for a three hour lunchbreak she deepthroated his rock hard boner making him squirt again and again until he could not get it up anymore. Well, at least not until they had finished shooting the scene. After that Alyssa began taming Julian in earnest with daily fuck marathons in her trailer which lasted all night until she had worn out his dick completely much to the chagrin of an unsatisfied Shannon Doherty.

I did a re - post of Alyssa Milano´s cult siren entry on her birthday in 2016 - and finally did a superpimed version with a plethora of GIFs in 2019 - and it is weird that she is trying to make herself the feminist figurehead of the whole Me Too movement with actions like a sex strike.


I wonder whom she is trying to make forget her nude roles, us or herself.

From the moment she showed her perfectly shaped tits to the world on Outer Limits - thanks to the lower restrictions of the Sci Fi Channel - it was clear this blow up sex doll was born for porn which she proved with her completely uninhibited sex scenes in Embrace Of The Vampire .

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I never liked Dan Slott's retcon of Starfox from a fun loving character into a serial rapist it's like suddenly the women in the Marvel universe - led on by She Hulk - decided they were too morally repressed to enjoy sex and therefore somebody must have manipulated their minds and forced them to have sex and enjoy it maybe it's just me but every time I read a comicbook written by Dan Slott there is more evidence that he is a deeply disturbed individual who hates comicbooks, all people who read comicbooks, all people who work in comicbooks, all people in general but most of all himself because otherwise I can't explain why he keeps punishing himself by working in a field that he clearly despises and apparently he also gets no enjoyment of tearing it down

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Now this is where I left things off in the first version but seeing as we have more space here I absolutely have to include italian all natural 40E ( !!! ) - 24 - 35 Busenwunder Juliana Moreira who certainly would make a most stunning Jessica Rabbit. At first I was a bit hesitant to put her in this post but seeing how all of the clips with her on Cultura Moderna I posted previouly have been deleted -  and it has been more than a year since her last appearance - it is about time for an encore performance.


Juliana Moreira could teach the girls of Russ Meyer´s grindhouse classic Faster Pussycat ! Kill ! Kill ! a few things about sexy go go dance moves.


Especially her patented boob thrust technique which is guaranteed to give even gay men a huge erection. As longtime followers of the blog know I am a huge fan of those boob bouncing thrusting dance moves.


While a lot of the videos don´t have the best quality thankfully the video with Juliana´s breast moment has excellent quality. There is no sound but besides that it´s a - okay. In the video Juliana goes into full Sabrina Salerno mode on her male tv audience as - much like the italian 38DD - 24 - 26 cult siren with the inbuilt bouncing action who put the pop in pop music in her famous video Boys Boys Boys - Juliana´s top surrenders with trying to contain her super - sized boobies and shows a lot of nipplage !


Now I am not sure if this rates as a wardrobe malfunction since those are supposed to be unintentionally and Juliana Moreira must have tried out the bikini top beforehand and so must have known what would happen.


I always try to bring my readers the best material but while I did find a lot of videos with her most of the downloads had expired. Thankfully a few still work ( in green bikini / dark blue outfit / red and white outfit ).


Faced with the dilemma of either spending a lot of time on making GIfs that had Julianas best moves but were of poor quality and spending the same amount of time on making some GIFs that were of much better quality but showed only her second best moves I chose the latter option.


And before you think it´s all about the boobs there is another side to Juliana Moreira. It´s no wonder she managed to bang an entire group of boy scouts into a coma with her rumpshaking techniques when the horny teenagers sexually assaulted her behind the scenes of a charity event. 

By the way, if you like to see more or Juliana Moreira girating her hips in the white outfit from the GIF here's the full episode of Cultura Moderna.

Here we have another episode of Cultura Moderna where Juliana Moreira is grinding her hips like there is no Tomorrow followed by her patented boob shake in a hot outfit - and when I say " hot outfit " I mean of course " skimpy bikini that leaves nothing to the imagination " at the beginning.

Making the GIFs I had to select the best moments from all of Juliana´s appearances on Cultura Moderna - at least from the compilations I could download because they are of better quality than the videos on YouTube - and yup, right, that is only Juliana's second best boob shaking move.


This is Julianna Moreira´s best boob move and naturally I could not find a video in good quality of it. Thankfully I found GIFs on the internet.


Sadly the video below is the best video I could find of Juliana Moreira´s boob dance but it has the complete show and daimn, that´s what I call talent. I also like the way she laughs which is similar to Shrinking Violet´s laugh on the underrated Legion of Super - Heroes cartoon and I can just imagine her laughing like this when she has just broken down her latest underage breeding stallion´s defences with her double - breasted deepthroat massage and goes on to dick - tame the guy without mercy.

Once she has managed to lure another teenage stud who has an over - proportionate monstercock that would give even the most well endowed pornstars penis envy into her bedroom Juliana spit - polishes his erection until he is hard enough to cut a diamond at which point she spreads her legs wider than a seasoned fillipino prostitute who has spotted a rich guy and after impaling herself with his throbbing meatpole literally jumping on his dick - still with her legs spread wide open - she starts to pound his schlong all night long turning him into her personal penetration puppet and making him shoot his load again and again until he is completely dry.


There are too many videos with Juliana Moreira´s to include them all so here are two more episodes with some of Juliana´s best bikini moments.

bubbele

good role for juliana

who would also be great in that role teens react haley

xtina

breast commercial

one minute version

one minute italian

extended three minute version

amy finally a video worth posting

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